and he continues to amaze me :)

Whatcha Weigh Monday?!

well. i did really good this week, but kinda slacked on the exercise end of things. Also, I ate out every meal this weekend. I made good choices, yet I just think it was more rich food then I had been used to. :) but still. I thought for sure I was good to go this week.

at weigh-in this morning:

+1.0

yes my friends, that is indeed a PLUS sign :(

So accordingly... this week's TIP OF THE WEEK is very hippy and funny but super interesting :)

part of my problem is that I get SOOOOOO fixated on little things, like eating a 5 calorie stick of gum used to have to be tracked on my food planner. :) I have really been working on seeing the big picture and instead of thinking about how unexpected donuts at work would throw off my WHOLE day, I am trying to think more in terms of okay, an unexpected donut one morning in the scheme of my whole WEEK, that instantly calms my anxiety. sooo...

TIP OF THE WEEK:

wabi sabi

so my dear little counselor likes to copy articles from her magazines and books and give them to me. This one at first I thought was kinda kooky, but it is a very interesting concept.

wabi sabi is the Japanese art of appreciating the beauty in the naturally imperfect world.

okay... stick with me. another definition? "Wabi Sabi is the beauty of things imperfect, impermanent and incomplete, the antithesis of our classical Western notion of beauty was something perfect, enduring, monumental."

this article brings up some examples:

~the author used to get sooo annoyed that every single week when she would see a trail of oily fingerprints on the wall leading to her upstairs. This used to mean another chore on her to-do list. Clean off the finger prints, yet again. But with Wabi Sabi, you would try to view those fingerprints as the story of her daughter's nightly treks up to bed.

~in western culture, we would see a perfectly formed hothouse tomato shipped in from a sunshine state much more beautiful than a tomato picked up one's own backyard garden, that is lumpy, uneven and definitely not nicely shaped.

~the article compares one of those older woman's faces from a National Geographic magazine, full of wrinkles, smile lines and crows feet to that of a 60 year old botox patient from Hollywood. Our Western culture would give the beauty award to the Hollywood queen, while Wabi Sabi would look for the beauty and the experiences and to appreciate the signs of aging.

so yes. kind of out there, but very intriguing. :)

i liked the ending of the article

"the Japanese philosophy of wabi sabi celebrates beauty in what's natural; flaws and all. Japanese antique bowls for instance are prized BECAUSE (not IN SPITE) of their drips and cracks. What if we learned to prize the drips and cracks in our messy lives?"

so yes. maybe i've lost my marbles. buut i dunno about you, but this whole abandoning the concept of "perfect"sounds good to me :) now i'm off to eat some valentine candy :) because those crystallized heart jelly candies are sure beautiful to me ;)

if that was all a little too out there for ya, don't worry :)

Bob Harper (Biggest Loser trainer) has a tip of the week too:

every morning this week, right when you wake up, drink an entire glass of water :)

haha. and come on, wabi sabi is SO fun to say ;) admit it.

what a fabulous weekend it was.

i had such a fabulous weekend.

i feel like the two days didn't go by quite as fast as usual. which is always nice.

it's official. i have realized how much time I really do waste online. the final straw? even I (tabloid reader lover) was appalled when my brown eyes read the title of this article.


I was so mad at myself for helping to perpetuate our society's OBSESSION with media. Like really. I wasted 2 minutes of my life, reading about what Jen Aniston had for dinner. (no offense girl, I am totally team Jen)

what did i do with all my newfound spare time this weekend?

it was apparently National Chocolate Cake Day, so i made these brookies. (hehe brownies/cookies?)

tried on this GEM. hahaha. all I could think about about was Nelly's song "shake yo tail feather" yep. that was on the butt :)

tried on this, which had at LEAST 50 layers of tulle. no joke. everyone in the bridal shop was like wait... is she really going to wear that? haha. i wish it had looked better on me, i TOTALLY would wear something like this to my wedding :)

so i didn't come away from this weekend with a wedding dress, but I did get something pretty darn amazing on our trip down south. the bridal shop wasn't open until 12 and it was 11:07AM. sooo we made our way to the Super Wal-Mart. and yes. i bought this.



and i got this for SIX DOLLARS at SuperWalMart! Go get one or two, all you cupcake bakers!

throw in my first shellac manicure with my good friend who came to visit me all the way from seattle (shout out to www.krislynrae.blogspot.com), lunch with ANOTHER sweet friend (see? i do have friends) a WWU basketball game, and some bud light limes, i would say this weekend was a success.

even if, sigh. i still don't have a wedding dress. :)

katy perry i know how you felt "last friday night"

I mean, everyone is AGAINST drinking and driving, but I am like REALLY paranoid about it, so I make sure I wait the recommended one hour per shot/beer before I get behind the wheel.

enter Friday night:

My friend was hosting a jewelry party, so a couple of us headed there after work. (still in Mount Vernon mind you, about 45 minutes away from my house.)

I had a budlight lime and a cocktail that had a shot of PINK LEMONADE VODKA with some sparking water. (more on how amazing pink lemonade vodka is later)

Socialized, ate some good food, bought some cute jewelry and I few hours later I was ready to head home. Alcohol was COMPLETELY out of my system.

About halfway home, I think "ah. I should have gone to the bathroom before I left."
About 30 minutes into the drive, I am starting to panic. There are NO reststops, stores, bathrooms or ANYTHING nearby for about twenty minutes.

I try to stop thinking about it, and after a few minutes I notice my stomach is starting to hurt I have to go pee sooooooo bad.

I seriously start to panic. My bladder was going to burst or I was going to have to find a bathroom and I was giving myself about 3 minutes before either of those things happened.

I hit a low point of my life last night. I pulled over it was a totally not busy highway road. trekked back a few steps into the trees and peed. yep. true story. i did. how. trashy. is. that. i really had no other option :)

so I make it home and Drew comes over and my parents have some good family friends over for pizza. I go out into the living room where my dad and his buddy are watching Wipe-Out...

Me: "Dad. I hit a low point of my life today..."
My Dad: slowly turns to me and says, "DID YOU GET A DWI????"
Me: "UMMM NO!" I had a beer and a shot of...
Jerry: "WAIT STOP! LET ME GUESS WHAT KIND OF SHOT YOU HAD THAT WAS A LIFE LOW."
Me: "No, no, that isn't the story."
Jerry: "LET ME GUESS! You had a shot of Yeigermeister, didn't you?"
Me: "NO! THAT IS NOT THE STORY! I had to pee in the woods on my drive home!"
Dad: "That's it? Was your stomach starting to cramp you had to go so bad? That happens to everyone.
Me: "Yeah."
Dad: "That's your whole story?
Me: Yeah."
Dad and Jerry: "Oh" and turn back to watching Wipe-Out.

well then. :)

just a few things

today i was having a mental debate with myself over whether or not I was going to have a dove chocolate that had been taunting me all day. I was seriously making a pros and cons list (don't tell my counselor :) I got sidetracked and started talking with a young woman (around MY AGE) who was telling me about how her and her husband had left Mexico to come to the U.S. and had had to leave behind their four year old baby girl. I finished what I was doing and sat back down and saw my little dove chocolate. I felt SO ashamed. I had spent like 5 minutes of my day debating whether or not I was going to eat a FREAKING piece of chocolate, while this young woman was dealing with heartache I couldn't even fathom. It just put my little silly problems into MAJOR perspective. So I ate the candy :) and loved the simple reminder:)

HAPPY ONE MONTH BIRTHDAY to sweet baby Ford! Auntie Lindsay can't WAIT to meet you! :)

I CANNOT LOOK AT THIS PICTURE WITHOUT CRACKING UP. okay. don't pee your pants of laughter. a girl i grew up informed me that she had a bunch of random wedding dresses that she had gotten from a bridal shop that had gone out of business. she needed to get all the dresses out of her house to make room for her bundle of joy due this spring, so last night my mom and I made a quick trip to her house to just check out the dresses. AHAHAHAHAHHA. i can't believe i am posting this. i am not one to talk, but i PROMISE this angle and this dress was the most UNFLATTERING thing I have ever put on. it was NOT made for someone like me. I could NOT stop laughing. Does it look like I have three GINORMOUS rolls or what?? AND THAT NECK LINE????? oohhh baby :)

Pretty sure that when the mail comes at work, people go running. they are afraid they are going to be the victim of my next "internet ordered bridesmaid dress" try-on session. :) Everyone escaped this one, so I had to take bring it home to find a model. While the dress is very cute, I think it is a little too bohemian for my liking. annddd that weird middle section of cloth?? ugh. could have done without that. so yeah. back in the mail it goes :)

have a good weekend :)

The Lone Wolf is Becoming a Pack

so we had date night on Saturday night. dinner at the Mexican restaurant in fairhaven. great conversation, great food, great mexican tequila. all gravy, baby. I also love to embarrass Drew by speaking Spanish to the waitresses. I think he is just annoyed he has no idea what we are talking about :) I also think I throw off the waiters and cooks when I giggle when they talk to each other. cuz I know what they are saying. and their jokes aren't always appropriate :)

We were kinnddaaa starting to finish up our food when D said, "hey. we haven't really been hanging out that much together the last few weekends, huh? Have you noticed that too?"

Yep. I had. I mean, like Friday we both got off work, met at my house (got my car unstuck out of the snow in my own driveway) went to my grandma's birthday party, hung out, then ran to the grocery store and then he dropped me back off at home. Totally fine, but normally we probably would have either gone out or rented a movie and gone back to his place to watch it.

I told him that yes, I had noticed it too.

He proceeded to tell me it was because he had just gotten the realization that in the near future, he would no longer be a "lone wolf" (yes, he used an analogy from the Hangover and yes, that is why I love him :) and weekends wouldn't be spent at the bachelor pad, drinking brews and watching three movies in a row and catching up on DVRed sporting events from the week. alll while no one bugging him to take a shower or get a hair-cut or to take off the basketball jersey he is wearing that probably already was a bit too small in 8th grade... WHEN HE GOT IT. :)

He talked about how he knew in the coming months, our precious Saturdays off from work would be spent registering for wedding gifts or taste-taking cakes.

At first, I was a little offended. UMmm. He was the one that asked ME to marry HIM, last time I checked :) I ordered another bud light and gave my "that was a rude thing to say" stare :)

then i realized. OHH MYY GOSH! ahhhhhhhhh! WHAT? NO MORE TAKING A BATH AND PAINTING MY NAILS AND WATCHING MY RECORDED SHOWS AND GOING TO BED AT 8PM ON A SATURDAY??? :)

I think it's hard for us to imagine what married life will be like, since we have never lived together. It's hard because when we do hang out, we go do something fun or are actively engaging in an activity. I never go over to his place and sit on the computer and blog, while he does his own thing and plays videogames. I don't read while he watches a movie. I don't make cookies while he is making his fantasy football lineup for the week.

I think that we both forget that just because we will be married, doesn't mean he will have to be stuck with me EVERY. SINGLE. SATURDAY night for the rest of our lives. We will have our life together, but that will STILL include our own seperate lives, as well.

So. We took home our leftovers in SEPERATE containers (plus mine was WAY better and there was no way I was going to let him eat mine)



and stopped at the red box. we rented our OWN movies (guess which one is mine? hehe)

and he dropped me off at home. Even though I totally understand where he was coming from, I will admit. My feelings were a little hurt :/

so I did what any single, young woman would logically do at 8:07PM on a Saturday night. I put on my PINK sweatpants and lululemon sweatshirt, hopped in the car and jetted off to Target.

Where I proceeded to buy some diet coke, a rather highly priced lip gloss (that promises to increase the plumpless of my lips by 19%, mind you) a new spatula and a magazine. :) i felt much better.

That night before I went to sleep, I called D to say goodnight and we talked and talked and talked and had the best conversation we had had in awhile. Not about our conversation at dinner, not about the wedding, not about our relationship. Just about random stuff. I realized I hadn't laughed that long in awhile.

So who cares if he TOTALLY ditched me on a Saturday night? (cough, cough. i do accept flowers) I realized the obligatory Saturday night hang outs aren't what it's about. It's about how freaking much I love this guy, AND his ability to quote movies like The Hangover :)

Whatcha Weigh Monday?!

happy monday!

since I couldn't go to the official weight watchers weigh in last week because of our lovely snowfall, I was a little nervous to go this week.

-0.8

As long as it's a loss, I'll take it :)

tip of the week:

okay. I am a skeptic. I fell asleep the one time I tried yoga in college and pretty sure I won't even take birthing classes (he he who, he he who). I kind of skipped through the "pray" chapter of Eat, Pray, Love when she was at the buddha place. I dunno, just never really was my cup of tea.

Sooo, when my dr. started doing some "chanting" little mantras with me, I was reaching for my car keys and looking for the door. umm. she just told me stick with it, and give it a try. whatever.

so yeah, some of the stuff is kinda weird and I dunno if it works, but we realized that something really seemed to click.

at first, it was SUPER hard.

she would say something, and I would have to repeat it. over and over.

the one that was SO hard for me to say...?

"Even though I ________________, I still love and completely accept myself."

in that blank?

Even though I had McDonald's TWICE this weekend...

Even though I haven't worked out in 6 days...

Even though I ate (inhaled) 3 brownies when I planned on having 1...

I still love and completely accept myself.

umm. i could NOT do this. I literally could NOT get these words out of my mouth. She said that we okay. so we modified it a little.

Even though I______, I DESERVE to love and completely accept myself.

You guys. I'm not a chanter and not big into "meditating," but this little phrase starting stirring something in my little heart :)

Sunday Thinking :)

my sister went to a Young Life conference and listened to this speaker talk. she sent me the video link and this video has gotten a ton of hits on youtube and a lot of feedback. both good and bad. check it out; whatcha think? :)

watch this

What if I told you Jesus came to abolish religion?
What if I told you voting Republican really wasn't His mission?
What if I told you Republican doesn't automatically mean Christian
And just because you call some people blind doesn't automatically give you vision.

I mean if religion is so great, why has it started so many wars?
Why does it build huge churches, but fails to feed the poor?
Tells single moms God doesn't love them if they've ever had a divorce,
But in the Old Testament, God actually calls religious people whores.

Religion might preach grace, but another thing they practice
Tend to ridicule God's people, they did it to John The Baptist
They can't fix their problems, and so they just mask it
Not realizing religion's like spraying perfume on a casket

See the problem with religion, is it never gets to the core
It's just behavior modification, like a long list of chores
Like let's dress up the outside, make it look nice and neat
But it's funny that's what they use to do to mummies while the corps rots underneath

Now I ain't judging, I'm just saying quit putting on a fake look
Cause there's a problem if people only know you're a Christian by your Facebook
I mean in every other aspect of life, you know that logic's unworthy
It's like saying you play for the Lakers just because you bought a jersey

You see this was me too, but no one seemed to be on to me
Acting like a church kid, while addicted to pornography
See on Sunday I'd go to church, but Saturday getting faded
Acting if I was simply created just to have sex and get wasted

See I spent my whole life building this facade of neatness
But now that I know Jesus, I boast in my weakness
Because if grace is water, then the church should be an ocean
It's not a museum for good people, it's a hospital for the broken

Which means I don't have to hide my failure, I don't have to hide my sin
Because it doesn't depend on me, it depends on him
See because when I was God's enemy and certainly not a fan
He looked down and said I want that man

Which is why Jesus hated religion, and for it he called them fools
Don't you see so, it's so much better than just following some rules
Now let me clarify, I love the church, I love the bible, and yes I believe in sin
But if Jesus came to your church would they actually let him in?

See remember he was called a glutton, and a drunkard by religious men
But the son of God never supports self righteousness not now, not then
Now back to the point, one thing is vital to mention
How Jesus and religion are on opposite spectrum

See one's the work of God, but one's a man made invention
See one is the cure, but the other's the infection
See because religion says do, Jesus says done
Religion says slave, Jesus says son

Religion puts you in bondage, while Jesus sets you free
Religion makes you blind, but Jesus makes you see
And that's why religion and Jesus are two different clans
Religion is man searching for God, Christianity is God searching for man

Which is why salvation is freely mine, and forgiveness is my own
Not based on my merits but Jesus's obedience alone
Because he took the crown of thorns, and the blood dripped down his face
He took what we all deserved, I guess that's why you call it grace

And while being murdered he yelled "Father forgive them they know not what they do."
Because when he was dangling on that cross, he was thinking of you
And he absorbed all of your sin, and buried it in the tomb
Which is why I'm kneeling at the cross, saying come on there's room

So for religion, no I hate it, in fact I literally resent it
Because when Jesus said it is finished, I believe he meant it

~jefferson bethke

Will you....... Be my Maid-of-Honor? ;)

My cousin was asking me if I had any good ideas on how she could ask her boyfriend to her high school's tolo coming up in February. umm.... do i have ideas... psshhh. millions.

I feel like since Pinterest has been created and I have been dating Drew I have always come across fun ways to ask your ladies to be your bridesmaids and stand up there with you on your big day.

Actually, I feel like I have probably spent more time thinking about how to do this, then a lot of guys spend thinking of how to pop the question and PROPOSE to their lovely ladies. :)

After I convinced myself they probably wouldn't want me to jump out of a big box with balloons on their doorstep or go on a scavenger hunt across the town, I combined a few Pinterest ideas and came up with this!

Wanna be my maid-of-honor sistaaa?????????

simply find a fun bottle of wine that goes well with your girl's taste/personality/ has a fun name etc. and write up a cute little poem :)

and it even works out better if your sister HATES wine and will probably never drink it, so she will have to save it forever and ever and ever and ever ;) got that, mand? :)

this bottle is PERFECT for her. :) is it any good? eh. who cares. it's all about the appearance, baby ;)

so once again, consider yourself warned if the wine at my wedding has the best label/color scheme EVER, but tastes like rusty water :) I will have a fun girly, cosmopolitan-y drink to chase it with :)

and by the way, it worked :)

mandy agreed to be the maid of honor.

now i'm working on picking out a special dress juuuuuuuust for her :) taffeta, anyone?

Hey, It's Okay!

Hey, It's Okay!

it's okay: to decide you would compromise with yourself and make funfetti valentine cupcakes but just not frost them.


it's okay: to decide, well, I AM going to frost them, only have one and bring the rest to work!



it's okay: to be stuck at home with snow days and work and have none to actually bring in :)

it's okay: to think the Celtic stamp you got on Saturday night from going out to a BAR in Seattle (how cool am I :) was just swirls. and then realize in the morning it was a monkey...

it's okay: to seriously spend one of said snow says in an entirely pink outfit. complete with stripes and polkadots and grandma slippers.

it's okay: to be biased and think my little sister and T are the cutest couple in the world! and to think it is sooo funny when their friends and roomates joke about how they are already married according to common law, since they have been dating for seven years. ahaha :)

i'm telling ya, snowdays are the way to go :)

SnowDay #3!

we have been stuck at home all week with snowdays.

don't get me WRONG, it was awesome buuuuut I wouldn't mind if I headed back to work tomorrow.

Things are getting scary. I have been baking too much and things like these vanilla bean whoopie cakes are laying around.

even scarier? I am running out of cozy snowday sweatpants and had to bust out these babies...

;)

In Seven Months...

In seven months from TODAY I will be: ahhhh! I cannot believe it. August seemed soooo far away and now a measly seven months?? :)

this is a list of things I HOPE to accomplish in the next 7 months:

(did i already mention we are getting married in seven months?

Now, I didn't say MUST accomplish or HAVE to accomplish. Simply my list of hopes before August 18th, 2012 :)

PLAN A WEDDING!

My sweet sister made this for me this last weekend. (have I mentioned she is seriously the BEST sister ever?It is so freaking cute! It has what we need to do each month :) like for instance, did you know that a week before your wedding you should call all your vendors and confirm? Like make sure they will indeed be bringing the food and make sure the florists do have the flowers you ordered? I had no idea. but thanks to this, we will have food and flowers :) you can all thank mandy for this when you are eating your delicious food. whatever it may be :)

SIMPLIFY, SIMPLIFY, SIMPLIFY!

This weekend I went through a bunch of memory boxes and tubs and bins in my room and closet. I am not moving anywhere for quite awhile, but I just wanted to slowly start going through what I really don't need so come August it isn't a huge overwhelming task. I thought this would be easy. This is HARD. I feel like there is some unwritten law or rule that states that you cannot bring too much high school memorabilia with you when you get married and begin a new chapter of your life.

Like seriously, I have saved shoe boxes and shoe boxes of notes from middle school. I thought it would be a piece o'cake to just recycle them. I literally CANNOT do it. Is something wrong with me? Our like pictures from all my high school sports! I probably don't need them anymore (aka I KNOW I don't need them anymore) but I literally felt like my heart was bursting at the seams when I put them in the garbage pile... :/ So I backed out. I got rid of like 123,000 pairs of sunglasses but just couldn't deal with my memory boxes. So that is one of my goals. Work on how I want to handle those tubs and tubs of memories :)

COOK DINNER FOR MY PARENTS ONCE A WEEK!
yes. perhaps I should have been doing this the whole time I have been living in their beautiful house rent-free, but whatev. hasn't happened :) Not only will it be fun to all sit down and eat at the same time at least once a week (and be a break for my momma) but if will ALSO give me a chance to at least practice cooking SOMETHING I would be able to cook for Drew.

I mean, I can make egg mcmuffins, enchiladas and baked potatoes (deliciously, I might add) but I want to work a few more "fancy" dishes. And by fancy I mean not using the microwave as the only source of cooking. :) (and yes, you can make enchiladas in the microwave.) case in point: he went to his parents house in Eastern WA last weekend, and said "my mom got us some corningware!" I had no idea what that was. :)

Give myself a break! aka NOT BUY SELF HELP BOOKS! ummm. By the looks of my nightstand do I look like a psycho-path or what? I need to cool it on the self-help books. Which probably stems into a greater thing on my to-do list. such as; stop worrying so much about "calming my anxious heart" and "what women fear." this is one of the most exciting times of my life, and i need to enjoy it. not be spending the next seven months trying to rid myself of every last insecurity.

another one from this pile of books? I NEED TO PUT AWAY THE TECHNOLOGY (have you tried Family Feud on your iphone yet? Kailee introduced me to it and I am obsessed.) and read! I have never had this many un-finished books at one time in my life. Plus, I enjoy reading and it makes me less cranky which will be a win-win for everyone in my life :)

so yeah. here goes nothing. :)

"Five seagulls are sitting on a dock.
One decides to fly away. How many seagulls are left?"

Well... four."

"No," He responded. "There are still five.

Deciding to fly away and actually flying away are two very different things. Listen to me carefully. Despite popular belief to the contrary, there is absolutely no power in intention.

The seagull may intend to fly away, may decide to do so, may talk with other seagulls about how wonderful it is to fly, but until the seagull flaps his wings and takes air, he is still on the dock.

There's no difference between that gull and all the others. Likewise, there is no difference in the person who intends to do things differently and the one who never thinks about it in the first place."
~Andy Andrews, The Noticer

Whatcha Weigh Monday?!

I had SUCH a fun weekend. I was a liiiiitle afraid to weigh in today.

PS. The Ram restuarant has a SKINNY cocktail menu!

This is our skinny cosmo, skinny lemondrop and skinny mojito! Disclaimer: my friend drank her's fast and said, "I just had to get it over with..." hahaha. i thought mine was good :)

Needless to say I wasn't heartbroken when I woke up to like 5 inches of snow! Maybe that isn't a lot for you? but us here in the Pacific Northwest don't do well driving in the white stuff.

So. after going back to bed for a few minutes (aka I was in bed for TWELVE hours, like I said, I had a VERY fun weekend :) I whipped out my home weight watchers scale and forced myself to step on. I know that this isn't a completely accurate measure since I am weighing on a different scale but whatevs.

dun. dun. dun.

-3.1 pounds

YOU GUYS! My psychologists and everyone have been right. When you don't freak out/obsess over what you eat and just listen to your body, things will fall into place :) that being said, you should all listen to me and obey me hehehe :)

TIP OF THE WEEK:

since my insurance companies and parents have paid a lot of moola for these darn nutrition classes/appointments, I shall share some wisdom I have learned :)

OUR BRAINS DO NOT KNOW HOW TO PROCESS THE "NO" CONCEPT

What does this mean, you ask? I am SOOOO guilty of preparing to go out to Mexican with friends and repeating ALL DAY in my head, "You will not order beef enchiladas, you will not order beef enchiladas."

I get to the restaurant thinking I am all prepared and what do I blab out the second the waiter nears our table, "I'LL HAVE THE BEEF ENCHILADAS!"

This always made me SO mad ummm.. BRAIN, I have been practicing with you ALL day and what do you go and do?

My little smarty-pants psychologist was telling me about how our brain works in images/concepts.

It was thinking about the cheesy, oooeeey, goooey enchiladas all day...

Only problem? My brain wasn't able to process a NO image over that Mexican dish :)

Our brains don't process "nots."

That is also why whenever we are told NOT to mention something or think about something that's all we can do. We are trying to process the image of whatever it may be and a "not" image.

I learned that "not" image doesn't even exist. ha. :)

so instead of thinking about what you are NOT going to do, or NOT going to eat? Think about what you ARE going to enjoy! I should have been conjuring images of beef fajitas all day :)

sounds silly, but try it :)

and this all happened before 8AM Saturday morning of a 3-day weekend...

we're off to a good start, i'd say <3

Checkout Line

I like this blog because I can write about the weird things that happen to me. and for some reason, WEIRD THINGS HAPPEN TO ME. :)


Enter Wednesday. I grab my Lean Pocket and a yogurt (but of course on my way I am intrigued by the new PEOPLE, a Valentine coffee mug and some CUTE wrapping paper.) So now my arms are full of awkward items.


I gallivant up to the express checkstand where I arrive at the same exact time as a woman with her three kids and just a gallon of milk in her hands. While pretttttttttttty sure I was technically first to the line, like a good girl I smile and say
"oh you only have one thing! Go ahead and go in front of me!"
Fine. No biggie. I start reading my PEOPLE magazine and learning all about the crazy girls on this season of the Bachelor.


So thennnnn I notice another lady has waltzed her way into our line and she starts talking Spanish with the first lady. (little do they KNOW, i can understand what they are SAYING. oh yes, the power of a white girl knowing espanol.) SHE SAYS, "Oh just get in front of her. She let us, I'm sure she won't mind if you are here too. You just have those poptarts."


WHAT? How rude. Totally taking advantage of my nice gesture!!! I didn't even know what to do. and Drew and my mom will be soooo mad at me when they read this for not standing up for myself, but I just let it happen.


Seriously, I let someone blatantly take advantage of my first good deed and I'm sure I had a big smile across my face the whole time.


Whatever. Then, THIS lovely quote enters my mail in-box that afternoon.

be kind to unkind people. they need it the most.

This seriously made me so MAD. My selfish, ungodly self is trying to control my emotions! I am a KIND person, I try to go out of my way and do things for people that they do not deserve. I NEED KINDNESS JUST AS MUCH AS THE NEXT PERSON! Sometimes I feel like the "nice" people get taken advantage of.


Here is my rant. I know, I know. A little overreacting, but this weekend, think of the person that is ALWAYS there you. Always willing to go out of their way for you without a single complaint.

Make a point today or tomorrow to do something extra kind for that person. Even if it just is a simple, "Thanks for ______!"

They need the encouragement, too :)

Now, I'm off to find my Mom and Drew and friends and my sister and my Dad... Yikes. I'm worse than the lady with the poptarts :)

Seriously?! Thursday

Things this week that made me go "SERIOUSLY????????"

Drew got a Costco card from his momma. They asked if he wanted to add someone to his account for FREE. Umm.. Hello newest member of Costco Wholesale. For FREE? Seriously? (but then I realized. it's works out for them. I'll spend lots of $$$ there...)

Emily Maynard is the next bachelorette??? SERIOUSLY?

I was researching dance floors for the wedding and I found one that was a 12 x 12 foot black and white checkered floor for $1,300!!!!!!!!!!!! SERIOUSLY?!! ummm... why in aksjdkj**&**& would you ever spend that much on a flipping piece of tile that you don't even get to keep? If that's how it is, we will be dancing in the grass. Consider yourself pre-warned.

I was in line at the grocery store on Tuesday, and the woman behind me tapped me on the shoulder and asked if I had any chapstick she could borrow. I was SO caught off guard, I handed over my SoftLips. SERIOUSLY?? A STRANGER asked to borrow my chapstick. and I let her. and then I threw it away when I realized what I had just done. I cannot believe I admitted that.

It says "do not fear" 365 times in the bible. That is enough for one every day. Seriously :)

The "INstyler"

i got a new jacket this weekend. it may or may not be leather :)
well, pleather. I know, I know like 2 years late to the trend.

So, my friend at work was trying to go all of December without spending money on herself. We were supposed to help keep accountable.

She strolled in one afternoon talking about how she got sucked into the QVC network, where they were featuring this new fangled curling iron. She got sucked into the videos and knew that she HAD to get one. Only problem? The offer ended in like 12 minutes and she couldn't spend any money!

I have fast thinking friends, so she came up with the brilliant idea to call her mom and make her mom order it for her Christmas present!

Anyways... she brought this thing and we were all skeptical. I finally let her take it to my hair and OH. MY. GOSH. In FIVE minutes I had Jessica Simpson waves. I was in shock.

So, I sent my dear little momma on a search for it for Christmas and like a good little elf she didn't disappoint.

Introducing my NEW

InSTYLER Rotating Curling IronYou grab a section of hair and wrap it around the barrel

You clamp down and the barrel automatically starts SPINNING.

You just hold for like five seconds, release and voila!

CURLS!

you guys, the barrel spins on its OWN! No more moving your hand and having to hold it in awkward positions.

My mom got me the 1 1/4 inch barrel, while my friend at work had always done my hair with the smaller 3/4" barrel. Those curls were much smaller and bouncier while the one I have makes bigger waves.

I am still debating if I want to take it back and get the smaller one. We shall see.

So. this was only like my second try with it and dark hair photographs TERRIBLY with curls because of the shadows :)

but still. I get so jealous of all the cool blogs with outfits of the day and no WAY am I that stylish so this will have to do :)

PS. The InStyler ALSO straightens for those of you not born with. stick. straight. hair. ugh.

If hair styling isn't your forte, like me over here, try this. It is so easy :)

Saw this in a magazine I was reading, as I was eating peanut M & M's. I was trying to figure out if I would still have bought the M & M's if they had a higher tax.

Probably.

What do you think? Good idea?

Whatcha Weigh Monday!

Normally when I go to Weight Watchers on Monday mornings to weigh in, I am the only one there. and the scale is usually turned off because I have been the only person there all morning. How depressing is that.

But not this morning. I waltzed in like I owned the place and was SHOCKED to see FIVE other people! SO exciting and much more fun :) haha i mean, as much fun as going to weigh in on a Monday morning can be.

dun dun dun dunnnnnnnnn.

-1.8 pounds

I seriously almost fell over. I had secretly decided to not REALLY start my "new lifestyle" until THIS Monday. But. So not really being super obsessed with what I was eating and just eating in moderation? Almost a two pound loss? Heck yeaaaah :) I think I am on to something... :)

Going to the Chapel, and We're Gonna...?!?!?!

"So you are going to walk down the aisle, but then where are you going?"

I saw this quote somewhere and immediately I was like... "hmm. I don't know. I want Mexico but Drew thinks we will get kidnapped there. So maybe Tahiti? No, that's hurricane season there. Hmm.. I just don't know. Somewhere all-inclusive for SURE..." on and on and on and on.

Oh. Wait. The quote didn't mean where are you literally going after you walk down the aisle, they meant where in life and as a couple. Oh...

Ok, I have thought awhile about writing this post, and it does feel weird to actually see these words, but I think it is a topic that more people need to be okay with.

I. AM. PETRIFIED. TO. GET. MARRIED.

So now that that is out there, I feel much better already. But before you get all mad and send me texts asking if I need to talk over coffee or up my shrink visits to 2X per week :), hear me out.

I have been guilty of this for as long as I can remember. Someone gets an engaged and has a pretty ring (well, or an ugly ring, I don't discriminate) and the first thing I ask, "How is the wedding planning????" or "Are you SO excited?". I realized that in half of these said scenarios I probably don't even know the future groom's NAME. Or ANYTHING really about the couple.

I go straight from "congratulations!" to oohhh when's the big day/where's the venue/are you having cupcakes or cake.

My dear friend Kailee texted me a few weeks ago asking what colors my future kitchen was going to be? (PS when someone texts you that while they are at Crate and Barrel you should be excited :)

Colors of my future kitchen? WHAT?

I had spent the last few months stressing over what color the freaking FLOWERS were going to be in my wedding bouquet! Colors for a kitchen? Psshh... No time to think about silly details like that, I have tableclothes to pick out...

Even though the colors of a kitchen may still seem trivial and not-important, this question really opened up my eyes. I was SOOOO focused on planning the wedding and our special day, that we had barely given ANY thought to the significance of this day, and what it meant for the rest of our lives.

So many brides seem so cool and calm and collected, organizing vendors and scheduling cake testing sessions, that I never hear any questions or thoughts about AFTER that Saturday evening.

At work, someone I rarely talk to asked if I was "excited to get married."

I smiled my biggest smile, and said, "yes, I think it is kind of stressful right now but when we finally make some big decisions it should get better." I was talking about venues and bridesmaid dresses. She looked at me with a confused look on her face and said, "No, no. I wasn't talking about your wedding! I meant are you excited to BE married?"

I was so caught off guard. It was the first time someone had really asked me that.

I was kind of stumbling around for words and she leaned over, put her hands on my shoulders and said,

"sweetheart, you can be marrying the man of your dreams and still be scared to death. it's okay"

She got me. I couldn't cover up my fears with talk about the expensive caterer or my nervousness with choosing someone to do the flowers.

I walked to the microwave to put in my lean cuisine (P.S. don't try the chicken suiziki enchiladas. gross.) and said (more to myself than to her) "I am actually scared ****less. Thanks for asking :)

Was I scared I was making the wrong decision? No. I am scared I won't know how to be the kind of wife Drew deserves.

I am scared I won't know how to wash men's dressy button up shirts? Warm wash or cold wash?

I have never, ever made soup that wasn't out of a can.

I am SO scared that we won't remember when our bills are due and our electricity will get turned off.

I am PETRIFIED of the day I just want cereal for dinner and Drew comes home from a 10 hour day wanting a pot roast.

I am scared to DEATH of having to make a pot roast. I eat my pot roast with ketchup and still don't know the difference between a skillet and a boiler pan. Ugh.

I am scared of having the flu and not being able to have my mom make me a bed on the couch with orange Gatorade. And Drew won't know that I have to have a straw.

There are all sorts of books and magazines about how to plan a wedding or be a bridesmaid but how to be a wife? Umm.. haven't come across anything about that yet.

After thoroughly freaking out the girl who asked me if I was excited to be MARRIED, I realized just how good it felt to feel OKAY about being scared.

I think I was trying to be a "good" bride-to-be and was acting like everything was a-ok and my biggest worry for the next nine months was if my hair would be long enough to do a chignon bun.

I'm nervous. Nope, not just for the wedding. For the day after the wedding. and the day after that and the day after that.

and ya know what? Nervous doesn't mean bad :)

So thanks S, for asking in the lunch room if I was excited to be married. NOT if I was excited for the wedding. I needed that. :)

and ya know what? My fears were somewhat alleviated tonight when my mom said, "ya know it's just so weird. Rings NEVER look good on you, but your engagement ring is just perfect for you."

perfect.

nervous, scared, petrified, stressed. PERFECT :)

Psalm 51 & Matthew 5:23-24

I was just walking down the street and I tripped. I landed flat on my face. I looked back and saw the culprit... a small raised lip of concrete.

I quickly looked around to see if anyone had seen me stumble, then I started my list:
people to blame other than myself,
reasons why it couldn't possibly have been my fault,
who I was going to take it out on,
and most importantly why life was so unfair.

I wasted a ton of emotional energy trying to resolve my stumble when I could have done something wiser: get back up, acknowledge that I wasn't watching where I was going, and move on.

The Bible says that we are all going to stumble. The question is, what are we going to do after the inevitable happens?

~Pastor Grant

This cute card got me in the Valentine'y spirit, so I threw on my NEW apron :) (FYI it SAYS MRS.!!!!) :)

had a little mishap between peppermint extract and vanilla extract (i actually think the accidental teaspoon made the cookies taste better? Or I'm just trying to tell myself that? :)
and ta-daaaaa

happy friday! <3