fun with christmas sprinkles ;)

i thought the salty/sweet thing was just a kettlecorn trend from the 1990's :)

i wasn't interested in the salted caramel brownies, the sea-salt sugar cookies. none of that.

until i realized... WAIT. I DO like chocolate covered pretzels...

so megs and i made some :) pretzel rods to be exact. with white chocolate and Christmas sprinkles ;)

easy to make, festive and that sweet and salty combination? Can't beat it :)

i thought i was officially a "crafter." today i went to jo-ann fabrics TWICE because i kept forgetting stuff to make my craft that i DIDN'T copy from pinterest! the second time, i strutted in. knew right where to go to grab my number and wait for the fabric lady to call me so she could cut my 1 yard of cloth. psshh. i was so pro at this whole "craft store thing" now, i didn't even need a basket.
went to check-out, had the same cashier lady as this morning. i flashed her my biggest smile and said, "i'm back again" thinking she would be like ooohh look at this little miss martha stewart.
she swiped my debit card, gave me a little pity smile and said,

"oh honey, this store is intimidating to everyone the first few times they come in. it takes newbies at least two store visits per day their first few times to remember everything they need to finish their project."

well then. sticker labels for everyone on their christmas presents next year. don't say i didn't warn ya ;)

Here's to you, December

I have decided for the month of December to deactivate my Facebook account :) (insert gasps, shocked looks)

It is my last holiday season as a single woman :) and I know that after this year, things will be different. More places to go, more grandparents to see. I just want to focus this season on everything that really matters and the main reason for the season :)

and I don't think I am strong enough to not let Facebook distract me :)

So, here goes.

One of my friends has decided to go through December without buying anything for herself. I made us these cute little frames to keep us motivated :)

I SO wanted to take out my cookie cookbook and Weight Watchers weekly program from my picture, but I had to keep it real :) Yep, my nightstand. In all it's glory :) You just can't see my floss from last night laying on the cookbook :)

So, if you get pregnant, or engaged or break up, or dye your hair or chop off all your hair, PLEASSEE let me know ;) I won't be able to facebook stalk you for awhile :)

Grace

One of my first Christmas memories is when my sister and I went to some holiday craft fair with my mom and while she went shopping with the pretty, sparkly glass things that she was afraid we would break, she plopped us down at the table in the corner to make "kid crafts".

We decorated sugar cookies aka got babysat by a probably 95 year old lady who looked like Cruella DeVille, and patiently waited for my mom to come back and get us. My sister waited so patiently, in fact, that she got a marshmallow Santa to put on her sugar cookie. I mean, come on. She was like 1 1/2 years old. How patient could she really have been? I'm sure it was her "adorable long blonde hair" that won her the coveted Christmas cookie decoration.

I was SO jealous. I had been SO excited to go home and show my dad the cookie that I had made. It was totally the best in the group. Until Mandy got the marshmallow Santa... I couldn't stand the thought of her going home and showing her cookie to my dad. He would think the marshmallow Santa was sooo awesome and she would probably get extra dessert too since she was so well behaved :)

I couldn't let that happen. On the ride home, when I was just in my booster seat and she was totally strapped into her car seat since she was still just a "baby" as I liked to inform her, I reached my stubby little arm down and grabbed her sugar cookie.

and ate it. :)

Problem solved. No one would see her cookie with the marshmallow Santa and my dad would love my cookie and I would get extra TV time :)

Well... That was the case until my baby sister saw the frosting on my face and burst into that annoying 18 month old baby cry :) Like the screeching, kicking, face is bright red, screaming ;)

Unfortunately, my mom put two and two together and realized what I had done.

All I remember is running around the kitchen, begging my mom to not tell my dad. I remember pleading with her. She was not going for any of my deals (like giving her my Polly Pocket Mansion), so I took a deep breath only 5 1/2 year olds can take, crossed my arms, and put my head down.

"Fine. Let her eat my cookie. That is fair. I ate her's she she can eat mine. Then Dad won't get to see mine either. I AM SO SORRY MOMMMYYYYYYYY!"

She grabbed my cookie (coconut "snowflakes" and all) and carried my sister over to the couch. She sat my sister down, turned on Little People (come'onn, you know the movies) and grabbed my hand.

Wait. This wasn't what was supposed to be happening. Mandy was supposed to eat my cookie while my mom lectured me and then I went to my room crying and was supposed to "think about what I had done."

We went into the kitchen and sat down on the floor. I remember my mom telling me that I shouldn't have eaten her cookie blah, blah, blah and that I made her sad blah, blah, blah and that my dad wouldn't have been more proud of her for getting the marshmallow Santa. She told me that she knew that it was hard to be a big sister and that I was doing a really good job. She was proud of me for always sharing my toys and even for watching my baby sister when my mom took a shower in the mornings.

Even though I'm not sure that was my mom's goal, that was my first lesson in grace.

I thought that letting Mandy eat my cookie was what HAD to happen. It made sense and was fair and was the only logical conclusion in my little pre-schooler mind. I ate her cookie, so I DESERVED to have her eat mine.

Do you know what I think is even HARDER than giving grace to others?

Giving grace to ourselves.

We sing songs, we study, we read books. We are taught to forgive others and shower them with mercy and kindness even if they may not deserve it in our worldly eyes.

Try forgiving yourself, or loving yourself, despite what you see when you look in the mirror.

It's really hard, and I think it's something we forget to do. We focus so much on giving grace to others (which is a GREAT and very important thing) but we forget that the same concept applies to ourselves.

I am just so hard on myself. If it's not perfect, then it's a failure. Working longer hours at work, or lowering my body fat percentage; logging more minutes reading my bible, or running any faster isn't going to make it all perfectly fall into place.

I can't earn grace. I must just accept it and know it is given to me to use.

So this holiday season while we focus on helping and giving to others, just remember to give yourself a little gift of grace as well. It's amazing how far it can take ya.

Thanks momma for teaching my little heart about love, and sorry sissy for eating your sugar cookie. Forgive me? ;)

and the SECOND the pumpkin cream cheese pie, and the white chocolate cheesecake and the chocolate creme pie and the mini apple and pumpkin tort's were devoured...

it's time for the christmas socks!

Love Train

I have always loved being the oldest grandchild on my gram and gramps side.

I always get to be the head of the cousin massage train when we line up oldest to youngest.

When the little girls were little-er they never thought about rotating so we ALL got a chance to get a massage without massaging.

They finally are on to me :) We set the timer and every minute we would have to rotate. (aka I don't get to sit in the front the whole time anymore :)

Hope you all had a great Thanksgiving, with lots of good food (umm... seriously though, how flipping GOOD are mashed potatoes??) lots of cousin love, and lots of back massages :)