Oh, David!

i feel like every bride-to-be smirks at the idea of going to David's Bridal and would "never set fooooot" in that place.


I kinda was like that. but thennnn. you're like well. it's close and convenient so you check out the website.

and then you realize... THEY HAVE AWESOME DRESSES! so my mom and dad and I decided to make a little trek down to David's Bridal. It's David's Bridal. No we don't need to make an appointment. psshhh.

I walk in. and OH MY GOSH.

there were SOOOOOOOO. MANY. GIRLS. like, I felt like we were at a Justin Beiber concert.

like, barely any room to walk.


I had underestimated dear old David and his bridal shop.


Luckily, I happened to snag the last "walk in appointment" and soon I was united with my "personal stylist" Whitney :) i walk around the store and pick out a few dresses and then she leads me to my "room" where this greeted me. ohhh fancy schmancy.

I open the door to the dressing room and literally the little stall is 2 feet by 2 feet. Remember the tulle dress? Yeah. I literally COULD NOT fit into the room with that baby on. The dress got caught in the door. hehe.

I survived the trying on, and left with a potential winner.

this lovely Vera Wang wedding dress...

yep. that's me. the vampire look is in, remember? NOT. WHY WOULD MARKETING PEOPLE THINK THIS IS AN INVITING AD??????????????

the bow could be tied anywhere, and I LOVED the flowey-ness of this.



okay. see the girl in the background? sometimes when I would show people this picture they would eventually tell me that they thought that was MY back in the back of the picture and didn't know what to say about how it was kind of unflattering. nope. just the MEAN girl next to me who would NOT share the pedestal... :(

i don't think my daddy-o was thrilled with our Sunday morning excursion (he was a trooper though and we promised him we would get Wendy's frosty's after (conveniently located next to David's Bridal? weird.) and I wasn't 100% into the dress on my hips.
he was the only guy in the entire store. with like 100 girls.


so yeah. this was the first wedding dress that I had tried on and could picture myself getting married in.

buuuuuuuut.

nope. not the one... ;)

side note: don't think just because you use a printing company to make things, you don't have to do more work to them. ugh.

AND i went to the grocery store with a stamp in my hair. and the checker pulled it out for me.

umm... yeah :)

today

today was clearly a striped kinda day, according to jenna.

one can never have too many stripes, or too much pink and purple and white.

"my dad always asked me what was the best day in history.

I would tell him I didn't know.

He would say...

Today."

Whatcha Weigh Monday?

happy monday :)








well, after a GAIN last week, I was terrified to go back to WW. but i sucked it up and went. I went for two walks the whole week. that is LAME. but whatever. off i went come 8AM this morning annnddddddd

-0.4

yippeeeee. exactly TEN pounds to go for my goal :)

the best part about this? normally when I have gained weight in the past, I would torture myself with insane amounts of exercise and insane boring food (chicken breast and broccoli for dinner EVERY NIGHT FOR A WEEK). it was almost like my "punishment" for that +.6 the week before.

This week, I refused to let myself do that to my body.

I took care of it, and was rewarded.

so yeah. just how far have i come?

last night, I decided that my parents and I were going to have Dairy Queen Blizzards while we watched the Oscar's.

I took their orders and off I went.

After literally almost running over a cat in the drive-thru line (how awkward/horrid would that be?) I had a realization.

For probably the past 4 years or so, Sunday night's consisted of me making my new "plans"

this was really going to be the week that I lost weight and got healthy.

no more sugar.

work out at least an hour every day.

yep. THIS week. starting TOMORROW.

so to celebrate my New Monday morning beginning, I would frequently go to DQ and get a blizzard on Sunday nights. I would eat it in my car before I got home and dispose of the trash. I would get a BIG one, because I told myself that I better enjoy it, because for the rest of my life I would NEVER have a blizzard again. NEVER.

Yep. I felt guilty. I felt shame. I felt STUFFED because I would eat it, even if I was not in the LEAST bit hungry. I didn't enjoy it, because I would shovel it down between stop lights.

Last night?

I didn't have to hid my icecream. I was PROUD to order it, and eat it on the couch in front of the TV. For the first time in like seriously FIVE years, I didn't feel shameful eating a DQ blizzard.

that might not seem like a big deal, but for me. it was monumental.

and that my friends, is progress.

aaaaand I still lost this morning at weigh-in.

Seriously though. They were times I cried and cried and cried for days at a time that I would never be normal. I COULDN'T just have a little bit of icecream like everyone else. One bite would lead to one gallon, which would lead to tighter jeans come Monday.

if I can do it, you can do it ;) seriously.

my horse analogy

we usually leave our pre-marital class fighting and screaming at each other. Seriously. I don't know if we will ever get to a compromise about how many nights a month we will entertain guests or using a surrogate mother versus adopting. I pray we don't ever have to make that decision.


last week, something clicked.


Drew and I have seriously had the BEST week of our relationship that I can remember in five years.

last week, we talked about interdependence vs. co-dependence.

stick with me, stick with me. :)

I used to think that Drew was supposed to make me a better person and vica-versa. Our relationship was on the right track when this was happening, and when one of us was struggling with something, the other person was definitely not doing their job.


co-dependence:
by definition, it's making the relationship more important to you, than you are to yourself.
~two people form a relationship because they feel incomplete without the other.
~two halfs are trying to make a whole.
~"we need each other"


nothing about this sounds wrong to me. i thought that's what love meant.


interdependence:
Each person feels like a person on their own and yet the other person adds a dimension that only she or he can fill.
~Although each person is whole, the other is somehow part of oneself.
~BEFORE YOU CAN GET TO THIS, YOU MUST GET TO A LEVEL OF INDEPENDENCE.


okay. i thought independence was bad. we needed each other. we couldn't survive without each other. i wasn't supposed to be an i-n-d-e-p-e-n-d-e-n-t woman any longer.


I was worried that Drew and I didn't have enough shared hobbies.


When he had a bad day at work, I would feel guilty talking about what a great day I had.


PEOPLE. WE WERE TRYING TO BE CODEPENDENT BECAUSE WE THOUGHT THAT'S WHAT SERIOUS RELATIONSHIPS AKA MARRIED PEOPLE WERE SUPPOSED TO DO. I need you, I want you, oh baby, oh baby. etc. "oh, you don't feel like going to the gym tonight? Me neither... when secretly I really do..."


it was not working and we were trying SO hard.


now. i am not saying we are simply business parterns. we still need each other and feel for each other, but realize it's OKAY and actually HEALTHY to be okay on our own.


the best part?

being okay on our OWN, makes it even GREATER together :)


there is even a THEORY named after this!

the two horse rule: ( i hate this, because I don't really like horses but whatev)
A draft horse can pull 700 pounds. So logically, two draft horses could pull 1,500 pounds, right? Wrong. Two draft horses can pull 3,000 pounds! :)


I would get mad, when he WOULDN'T get mad, when I wouldn't want to go for a run with him. I thought that meant we didn't "need" each other enough and were doomed for divorce.


Nope. that is actually what we are striving for.


we won't be able to pull that 3,000 pounds unless I am strong enough and healthy enough to pull my 700 pounds. (sorry about the horse analogy, it's all i got :)


3,000 pounds of whatever life can throw at us at a time :)

"if you try to build intimacy with another person before you get whole on your own- all your relationships become an attempt to complete yourself."

~Dr. Les Parrott

I am totally Team Jen but Wanderlust was the WEIRDEST movie I have ever seen.

Annnnd I officially purchased my wedding dress today. The workers were in shock when I said I wanted it ordered in white. There was a collective gasp with one lady making sure I knew white dresses usually looked blue? Ummm what?? Then they had to tear apart the store to just find ANY dress that was in white to show me. You would of thought I was asking them to order a baby blue wedding dress. Apparently ivory is the way to go?? Psssshhhh :)

Decisions, Decisions

1.) the stamps I WANTED to buy for our Save-The-Dates. personally designed. $$$$$$$

2.) The stamps I considered, until my sister said they were a liiiiiiiiitle too lovey-dovey?

3.) I eventually was driving myself crazy with this silly decision. So I gave Drew the job of going to the Post Office and getting some stamps. These are what he picked out :) Perfect!

and this, my friends, is why we are so great together :)

ahola ;)

midweek randoms

1.) note. my dearest mother is going through ALL of my sister and I's school papers, sports stuff, report cards, birthday cards, baby books etc. and trying to get them organized.

I saw this note from my dad to my mom in my "baby book" aka a Manila envelope and thought it was SO precious I just want to save it forever. the moment was kinda ruined when I showed my dad, and he looked at it and then said, "i mean. i guess it's cute. the back does say I wrote in in 2009." hahahaha. my daddy does not like sentiment :)

2.) bolognese sauce. i came across a recipe on skinnytaste.com that looked delish so I decided I would cook it tonight for Drew. I went to the grocery store to get the ingredients. I needed pancetta or center cut bacon. So I found the PRICEY center cut bacon and threw it into the cart in case I couldn't find pancetta. Well I found it, 10 dollars LATER. but forgot to take out the bacon. :( andd then the recipe called for 97% fat free ground beef. so 9 dollars later... i had spent $30 on MEAT for this silly pasta dish.

THEN. i came home for lunch and decided to start preparing and chopping some of the ingredients. 1/2 cup of minced carrots.
pssh. piece of cake. all I had was baby carrots.
WHAT IN THE HECK IS MINCING? apparently, it's chopping up into small pieces. Do you have ANY idea how hard it is to MINCE baby carrots????????

THEN. I read farther down on the recipe and see that it has to SIMMER for 2 hours. Ummm... well... that won't really work now will it. I come home from work at like 5:30 and there is NO way I am going to wait until 8 to eat.

It all worked out, and the dinner was DELICIOUS :) but i did learn to avoid these words in recipes:

mince
simmer
pancetta (or any word I can't pronounce. it will probably be expensive :)




3.) 22nd birthday. i heard the CUTEST idea today. a girl was telling me about how she was celebrating her 22nd birthday this weekend with a..... TU-TU party! Get it? Tu-tu? 2-2?????? ahhh. I am obsessed. My sister's 22nd birthday is in June. get your tu-tu's ready ladies... ;)


4.) baby Ford had his first shopping trip to downtown Seattle. :) he was such a good baby, but he definitely said, "i am going to throw a fit if you take my picture one more time..."

5.) "the only thing you have to offer to other people is your energy" so take care of yourself. it's okay to say "no" sometimes when things are starting to get a little crazzzzyyyy. why? because you aren't just hurting yourself. you don't have ANYTHING to offer anyone else when you aren't sleeping enough, eating healthy and taking time for yourself. sooo true but something we struggle with. which is WHY i am off to go to sleep. I think 10 hours of sleep is just what the doctor ordered. and I'm not going to feel guily one bit... ;)

cuz just you wait. watch out world, tomorrow I am going to have a LOT of energy to offer :)

cross that one off the list

so my cute little sister emailed me a link a few days ago that said, "hehehehe."

umm. creepy? no idea. so I clicked it! (maybe not the best decision?) she had posted a few pictures of me in a few different dresses that I couldn't decide between. She was kind enough to chop off me head.

THEN. people could VOTE and leave comments. like strangers... ahahahhahaha. wedding OBSESSED strangers.

I was petrified to look.

but now that I have found THE dress , I can start showing the ones that were in the competition but didn't quite make the cut :)

these were the comments concerning this runner up.

PS this one only got 8% of the votes

pictures did NOT do this baby justic. SO gorgeous and fun.

but it hit me at a weird spot at my waist...

5.Member 863 postsBusy bee KateByDesign

October 29, 2011

Fairfax, Virginia

I LOVE the first dress on you. I'm not a fan of the second. 2 days ago

6.Member 41 postsNewbee anali

December 29, 2012

philadelphia

the second dress is very fairy tale-princess so beautiful 2 days ago

very contradicting ;)

and that second dress waaaaaaaaas:

the back of this dress was SOOOOOOOO pretty. and i loved it. but just not for my wedding ;) have a good week! and everything you do, pretend like you are wearing this dress. ;) hehe

Whatcha Weigh Monday?

So this week was Valentine's day and just SUCH a busy week (= no exercise) so I didn't have a good feeling going into weigh-in today. I sucked it up and off I went.

Dun, dun, dun...

+0.6

yessir, that dear little plus signed greeted me this morning. I actually wasn't that upset, since this week I had rely on a lot of convenience, process-y food. and i had like ONE workout.

it was a good reminder that the body needs to move, and sitting sedentary all day at work isn't exactly gonna cut it. :)

but then, my mom and I decided to jet over to another bridal store in town (where my mom got her dress back in the day, aww :) and see what they had. they had TWO realllllllly beautiful dresses that I loved, but I could tell I was getting edgy and cranky when I tried them on and they didn't hug my hips in the most flattering way.

Of course, I blame the half a pound that I had gained, when probably more realistically the dresses were just not made for my body type :)

tip of the week:

( i dunno if you should really listen to me considering I GAINED weight, but whatev :)

substitutions

A few years ago I read the book called Skinny B****.

the book talks about how we should only drink water (no coffee, no juice, no tea, o alcohol)

it talks about the value of PURE, real food, which is AWESOME, but this didn't go over so well for me when I tried it.

Doing the whole-all or-nothing approach has worked for me before, but ALWAYS backfired. I JUST drink water, but then eventually I give in and have a large blended margarita, and the whole plan is shot.

I have been working with my counselor on how to live in moderation. There are times in my life when water just won't cut it. Instead of finding a happy medium before, I would either suffer with my water or go overboard and have a oreo milkshake.

Enter some substitutions that have worked for ME:

OUT AT A BAR/HAPPY HOUR:

~i am really feeling vodka/tonic (yes I know tonic water does have sugar) or I have really gotten into Talking Rain Carbonated water. They have different flavors (tangerine, lemon-lime etc). Throw some lime slices in there with a shot and you are good to go. :)

CANDY AT WORK:

~I dunno about YOUR place of employment, but at mine, there is candy at every turn. :) Somedays I can just completely ignore it, but there is others where I CANNOT stop thinking about.

I did some research on the lowest cal/ "better for you" of the candies out there, and was surprised to see Jolly Rancher Hard Candies on the list! ummmmm DELICIOUS! I even found the sugar-free ones, and when I am craving something from the candy dish, I throw in a watermelon jolly rancher and that usually does the trick. :) Crystal Light Hard candies (cranberry and pink lemonade are my favs) also are good to have around.

DELI/LUNCH FOOD:

this probably seems super obvious to most, but this is something I wish I would have thought about a LONG time ago. So your at Red Robin or a burger joint or a deli, and you can't stop thinking about the Reb Robin All American Cheeseburger. Or the homemade bagel sandwiches from The Bagelry.

I used to just REFUSE to let myself enjoy one of these, and go with the salad. Which would inevitably end up leading into an ice-cream run later :)

Lesson? Today for instance, I couldn't stop thinking about the bagel sandwiches downtown. I went, and just got it WITHOUT cheese. Cream cheese or the regular havarti it comes with. I actually got to taste more of the delicious homemade bagel and it was satisfying. Orrr you want the All American Burger at Red Robin? Have it! Without the cheese or mayonaise. and you might want to hate me when I say this, but it is true. you won't even miss the mayo and cheese ;)

nor will you miss the extra muffin-top that makes the tulle on your wedding dress stand up even HIGHER on your hips ;)

Confessions

welllll since it is 6:26AM on a Sunday morning, why not?

1.) I went to the tanning bed. I know. I know. I gave in to the social demands of being a bride and wearing a white dress. Ugh. I really did feel guilty though. and I got what I deserved. I got suckered into buying a package and lotion and the worst part? I woke up in the middle of the night last night and stumbled my way to the bathroom. I flipped on the light and stood in UTTER shock. I look like a fried lobster. and the back of my legs itch SO bad.

2.) I may or may not have LIED to the Target worker when he said on Monday, "Hey, haven't you already been in here like THREE times today?" "Me? No way man. I must have a look-alike twin or something." To my credit, I had to return something, then realized I had forgotten what I had exchanged and then I had to buzz in after work to get a few last minute-things for Valentine's day.

3.) I have had Starbuck's EVERY single day this last week. Like Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday and yep. probably will today. I don't know what's up with me. My latest favorite is a skinny vanilla latte. For something who HATED anything coffee up until a month ago. This is big, my friends. and I'm not sure how I feel about it.

4.) I used to watch Grey's Anatomy when it first came out. I stopped for some reason. This week I found myself watching some re-runs. I now remember why I don't watch it anymore. I cry EVERY single time. The episode with the morbidly obese man who has the pregnant wife? I bawl like a baby.

5.) Last night my parents had some friends over (well, Jen and Trav and baby Ford, too) to do some wine tasting for the wedding. Is it bad that I couldn't CARE LESS and didn't even try a sip of any of the wines? Like really? dry and oaky mean NOTHING to me. I'll admit it. I just don't care. :) cake tasting? now that's my cup of tea :)

6.) Sometimes I feel like part of the deal for having faith in God is that he is supposed to make my life stress-free and happy :) I am in the middle of what seems to be a CRISIS in my little perfect world. Where the heck are ya, God?? I am not supposed to feel sad or depressed or like I don't know what to do!

like I said, my confessions.

:)

Mid Week Randoms

1.) ROASTED VEGETABLES
this is my second attempt at roasting vegetables. I kid you not. ummmmmm..... seriously????? ahahaha

2.) VALENTINE'S EVE

drew had to go play tennis Valentine's night with his men's league thing, so I headed home. My mom had set the table and cooked my dad what smelled like an AMAZING dinner. They sat down to start to eat and I came around the corner into the kitchen. My dad said, "Okay. we are just going to try and forget you are here? okay?" :) he was kidding but still. it was funny. so i went to my room where I played around with settings on my fancy-schmancy camera and my engagement ring and roses. ;)

3.) GIFTS
my sister made me a "wedding to do" list of things to accomplish in the next two weeks. One of the things was to register. Piece of cake. She so kindly sent me an email from Real Simple with a checklist of what to register for. The first thing?

2 bathrobes.

Ummm... Is that normal? please no one get me a bathrobe for a wedding gift. it really weirds me out :)

4.) CENTERPIECES
Every single thing I see lately, the first thing that pops in my head is "ohh could that be a cute/creative/fun/different centerpiece for the tables at the wedding?"No Lindsay. that cute display of pink pens at the doctors office would not be cute. either would the collection of recycled beer caps.

5.)

6.) Seattle officially has more dogs than children.

this is all I got. sooo glad tomorrow is Friday. now if only i could decide on a wedding dress... i SO wish i could show you guys the ones I am deciding between... ;)

going to the chapel, and they're...

GONNA GET MARRIED!

some VERY exciting news also happened on Valentine's day. my dear auntie GOT ENGAGED!

we love Ryan and know he is THE ONE for my momma's baby sister. (and her four girls!)

see? even they approve :)

lovely 2/14

so last night I stayed up until MIDNIGHT trying to finish this questionnaire that was going around the blog world for Valentine's day. It was questions about how you and your man met, what nicknames you have for each other, your favorite qualities about him etc. etc. It was SO fun to read everyone else's, but by the time midnight rolled around, I STILL couldn't get the pictures to go in the right spots, my laptop battery kept dying and finally the computer froze altogether. So my hour of a hard work on a cute-sy little blog post? Completely wasted.

i think it was a sign. that's not me. Drew and I don't really have nicknames, and I cannot really even remember our first date? is that bad?? :)

that's just so not us.

i'm even gonna go out on a limb here. i am going to be completely SELFISH on a day where we are supposed to focus on those we love.

So yeah. Instead of writing about our first kiss or our engagement, I am going to write about myself.

wanna know why this year has been the best year of me life?

wanna know why THIS Valentine's day has been the best ever?

i am finally starting to love myself.

Yep. It is true. I am the girlfriend/fiance that is using her Valentine blog post to write about herself. :)

I have always been that girl that worked out to lose weight so I can fit into that new dress so I could go to that party and impress so and so. I ate vegetables because I thought they would help me lose weight so I would look better in my bikini at that pool party.

Sometimes I went to church and bible study because those were activities that were on the "list of things to do" if you want to be a good person. The more things I checked off the list, the more likely I was to like myself. That made perfect sense to me.

Since college, I had avoided mirrors. I just HATED looking at myself. Not just the physical part of myself, but I just had such. low. self-esteem. I only got my great job because I was lucky, I only dated the cute boys because I was doing a good job of acting like I had it all together.

I HATED being by myself. Like I would find myself just following my mom around the house just talking to her about randooooooom things. I didn't like the person I was and didn't want to be alone with myself.

now? I actually find myself spending hours in my room, just doing things. BY MYSELF. When I pass a mirror, I don't automatically cringe when I see myself. I don't avoid pictures of myself like I used to, and I have ever started working on saying, "No thanks!" to commitments and not feeling so guilty I want to cry. I work out because it feels good, not because I have to burn at least 356.2 extra calories a day :)

growing up I always heard, "you will never experience real love, until you learn to love yourself"

i thought that was ridiculous. Now? I realize it is SO true. I am FINALLY able to love Drew the way he deserves and accept the love he gives to me :)

i was lucky enough to be able to have this experience WHILE being in a relationship. Others? I dunno. I KNOW this day can just be HEARTBREAKING for single girls who would give anything to have a boyfriend to celebrate with. and I KNOW that eye rolling probably took place. but TRUST me. When you get to that place where you are proud of the person you have become, it's seriously CRAZY what can come from that. :)

so yeah. shout out to Drew for loving me and letting me learn to love myself. :)

can you say #bestgirlfriend ever? he had been talking about how he wanted the new Lebron James basketball shoes. He had NO idea I got them for him :) such a hardworker who TOTALLY deserves them. :)

i LOVE LOVE LOVE pink. I wore lots of pink and red today (obnoxious I know) and just had to smile when I was walking into Starbuck's this morning.

drew got me these pretttyyy flowers :) delivered to my work as a matter of fact ;)It is SO easy to get caught up in the all the negativity in our jobs, in the media (like this morning when the TODAY show was talking about the Sports Illustrated model that made the cover of this years magazine? Talk about your work pants feeling a little snug BEFORE you even eat breakfast. ugh) and even in relationships. We are constantly told and taught that we have to be PERFECT. and I believed it.

Ya know what? When you realize perfection is not the goal, you will be amazed at how everything will fall into place :)

<3 <3

now i'm off to go eat some peanut butter m and m's. valentine colors of course. :) psshhh.. who wants a perfect body anyways? certainely not I. ;)

Whatcha Weigh Monday?!

I continued making "moving" a goal this week. A few days I only got in about 20 minutes of exercising... and Saturday we had a dinner fiesta at the James and I most def. had a brownie and icecream, some dove chocolates and a valentine cookie. and a vodka/tonic. annnnd. my new favorite? (get prepared for the processed, horribleness that this is... diet mountain dew and vodka. ahahah.) I bet that just makes nutritionists cringggeeeee.

oh anddd we went to Great Uncle Herb's 90TH birthday party. and i had a piece of cake. i think it should be mandatory that if someone you know turns ninety, you HAVE to eat a piece of their birthday cake. Even if you are Jillian Michaels or Gisele. aaannndddddddd. at my 90th birthday I want a tiered cake. Perferably 4 or 5 tiers. FYI.
sooooo. I was very scared for weigh-in...

-1.8!

you guys. I AM OVER HALFWAY TO MY goal! LESS THAN 10 POUNDS TO GO AND I LITERALLY FEEL BETTER THAN I EVER HAVE IN MY ENTIRE LIFE. EVEN BETTER THAN WHEN I WEIGHED 125 POUNDS . Wanna know why? Because I am living my life. I am eating REAL food. I am celebrating birthdays and going out to Happy Hour. I am starting to view food as a good thing, not as the enemy.

this week's tip?

setting yourself up for success!

Do I sound like a motivational speaker yet? Infomercials here I come!

No but really.

And I am not talking about buying pre-cut vegetables and bagged lettuce and throwing out all the junk food in your house. it doesn't work. it might help some people, but if you want ben and jerry's cookie dough icecream bad enough, you WILL find a way to get some.

Anyways... so in my past, I would eat pancakes for Sunday morning breakfast for example. Pancakes, syrup, throw some strawberries or fruit in there and I would be good to go. And since I decided to splurge and have pancakes, I wouldn't allow myself my mid morning snack. I would eat nothing else until afternoon.

I COULD NOT UNDERSTAND WHY this wasn't working!

After meeting with my psychologist and learning about blood sugar, I learned a handy little trick. I would have been better off eating a PIECE OF BACON with that meal. ummm. what? bacon? fat. calories. big no-no.

Yeah. Our bodies don't do so hot with just sugar. Pancakes, syrup, FRUIT? Sugar overload. and then for the rest of the day my blood sugar is rising and crashing and with that? Cravings. Moodiness. Anxiety. Ugh.

So yes. I am now a big fan of string cheese. and chicken breasts. while it may seem like it makes more sense to skip the 100 calories, IT DOESN'T! at least not for me :)

The Time I Locked My Keys in the Car

I have not had the best last few weeks. I dunno why really. I mean, in the problems of the world scope, I had a great week.

but Thursday for lunch I had to run a few errands. I left work and buzzed up to the store because I needed to get something for lunch.

I had a million bazillion things racing through my mind so I parked, grabbed my debit card and off I went to the lean pocket aisle.

Notice, I said I grabbed my debit card and off I went?

that meant. my keys, wallet and cell phone were allll sitting nicely on the front seat. in the LOCKED car.

i don't know what I thought peering through the windows for five minutes would do?? magically unlock the doors?

ok. so i walked into the store. no biggie. i would just call my mom and she could bring me the spare key. (perk of living at home)

and if for some reason she wasn't home, my grandma who was ALWAYS home had a key to our house so she could get it for me.

so i see the pay phone and think hmm... i only have my debit card. that won't help. So i walk over to the customer service desk and THEY SAID I CANNOT USE THEIR PHONE! like seriously. I explained my lovely situation and they shut me down :( they were nice enough to inform me though that the payphone did accept debit/credit cards. well. was it my lucky day or what?

so i edge my way to the payphone (in between the motorized wheelchairs and gumball machine thing) and pick up the phone. Wait. My mom and dad and grandma decided TODAY would be the day they trek down to Seattle and stay the night.

Okay. Drew. Wait. What's his phone number? I kinda know it, but not really. I just use speed-dial from my cell phone. Well, that's unhelpful considering my cell phone is locked in the car.

I call my sister (who is in Seattle with my parents) and have her get me Drew's number. I call him and leave a message that I need him to pick me up after work, so we can go to my house, get the spare house key, get inside, get my spare car key and drive back and get my car. :)

so I leave him a message and feel a little better.

but then I realize WAIT. I am still stuck at Fred Meyer in the POURING rain (PS. the weather UNTIL Thursday had been BEAUTIFUL. +50 degrees. this day? pouring :) and I have to be back to work in a little bit.

Normally when I go to Fred Meyers in my workout clothes/no makeup/hair in a pony tail I see 12,231 people that I know. My parent's friends, people from high school. etc. This day when I REALLY wouldn't have minded seeing someone I know, I CANNOT FIND A SINGLE PERSON THAT I KNOW. Even my favorite workers in the produce section and at the express checkstands aren't working. How rude of them, right? :)

So. I take my debit card, march over to Starbucks and order a skinny mocha. I buy a package of pretzel M &M's. I pull up my sweater hood over my hair and off I go. In the rain, without a coat, on the busy main street. I mean yes, it was probably only a little over a mile walk, but when you have to walk under freeway overpasses in a skirt and boots in the rain, it seems a heckuva lot longer.

I make it back to work with sopping wet clothes and a mocha that was more filled with rain water than it was with espresso (how raindrops fit in that little drinking hole is beyond me).

it was amazing how despite my scary frizzy hair, wet sweater and dirty boots, walking into my office that day was the most relaxed I had felt in weeks.

Since my phone was locked in the car, I couldn't respond to all those emails and text messages and check twitter. I wasn't constantly checking the time on my phone and adding things to my calendar and grocery shopping list. I wasn't analyzing the gas gauge on my car, trying to decide if I should get gas at the cheaper gas station on the other side of town AFTER work, or go to the more expensive place that is way closer BEFORE work tomorrow.

My to-do list was much more simple. Walk back to work.

Normally I get BACK from my lunch break even more frazzled than I was before I left. I spend the hour driving all around town, running arounds, making phone calls, checking my US Weekly Gossip app. :) Always thinking about what I am going to do AFTER work. Gym, cook dinner etc.

I feel like this was God's way of saying, "woaaaah girl. you need to slow down." I wasn't really listening so he had to actually FORCE me to. :) and for that I am grateful. and this week, I am being very purposeful in my schedule. I am making sure I leave time just to hang out, to NOT have a plan. Cuz the Big Guy reminded my humble self once again,

"Wanna make God laugh? Tell him your plans. and then He will take your car keys... :)

grace

life is a classroom. and we are both students and teachers. each day is a test. and each day we receive a passing or a failing grade in one particular subject: grace.

grace is compassion, gratitude, surrender, faith, happiness, good manners, reverence and the list goes on.

It's something money cannot buy and credentials rarely produce. being the smartest, the prettiest, the most blessed, the richest or even the poorest cannot help. being a humble person can, and being a helpful person can guide you through your days with grace and gratitude.

GREAT Expectations

so i am starting to figure out that there is a whole heckuva lot that goes into planning what the aisle is going to look like when I walk down it come August. Flower petals? white chairs? benches? knee deep white-rose petals? of course ;) ahhHHHH

and i thought that was stressful?

drew and i have started our pre-marital classes. we meet once a week for 10 weeks.

i literally have never been so stressed out in my entire life. i think we have fought more in the last 14 days then we have in the last 5 years :)

now. i was not gonna be that naive little girl who thought that marriage was a fairy-tale ended and after I was a Mrs. life would just be PErFeCt and all my problems would disappear.

so when we got to the chapter titled "Great Expectations," I took a deep breath and just KNEW we were going to nail it. Answers matching, easy discussions. bam. bam. bam. :)

so yes. of course when you read these statements, you think WELL, DUH. I am a modern-day, well educated woman with my own life and of COURSE I will not fall victim to these common myths. psshhh. who do you think I am?

umm. even DESPITE my willing myself to scream FALSE next to every single statement, I had no idea that my heart was trying to tell me that wait just a second. I DO have expectations that need to be addressed :)

first, I wanted to give you a little glimpse of some of our homework questions. We answer them SEPARATELY first, then go over them with our significant others.

So yes. you have some homework. answer these random questions. not on what you think your man wants, or what you think you SHOULD want or how you SHOULD answer, but go through these couple questions and answer :)

for instance? at first i thought, "what a STUPID question. who cares?"
then we discussed it... ;)

so go ahead. answer these...

no big deal right? piece of cake. so i thought too... ;)

Whatcha Weigh Monday?!

so this week, I decided to follow Matthew McConaghey's advice. He says the secret to his fit (I think "fit" is an understatement) body is that he sweats at least once a day. ok. i can handle that. so I didn't even need to do long strenuous workouts and depress myself by spending multiple hours at the gym.

This week I made the conscious effort to just MOVE more. Plain and simple. If I didn't have time to go to the gym, I would just lace up my running shoes, and go on a short little two mile jaunt around the neighborhood. i think the key is consistency, not such a big focus on quantity.

so did it work this week?

dun dun dun...........

-2.2 pounds

:)

this involves Superbowl eating (chili is lots of protein people) dinner and dessert with friends annndd my lovely lemonade drinks. :)

i was so happy i could have hugged my weight watchers lady when she said, "you go girl!" and told me my week's progress :) i think she was also just happy to talk to someone because she said I was the first person to come weigh-in that morning. It was 9AM and she had been there since 7:30AM. :( hehe.

TIP OF THE WEEK:

get a shake weight. :)

well. yeah. annnnddddd...

try to break a sweat each day :) whether it's cleaning your room (okay, a few days ago I was organizing the top of my closet and seriously I started to sweat from climbing up and down the little stool every other minute.)

now. go run over and manually CHANGE the channel on the TV, who needs a remote anyways? :)

4 Things to a Happy Weekend

"there is nothing that a good run and a good night's sleep cannot fix."
i have to agree with this quote. a 60 degree February Saturday morning run with this scene and a sleepover down in Seattle at K's apartment with this awesome air mattress bed setup? happiness :)


but after this weekend, there are two more things I want to add to this list.

~a good friend (or friendS)

~a good drink


seriously though. some pink lemonade flavored vodka with some Talking Rain Lemon/Lime sparkling water (ZERO calories) and a lime? my current obsession.

so i had a good run so I could enjoy my indulgences, got together with my AMAZING friends, where we ate and talked and enjoyed some of these good drinks. my weekend is setting up a great night's sleep tonight. :)

yes. a good night sleep TONIGHT because that air mattress sleepover at K's wasn't exactly a good night's sleep.... Why? because we stayed up soooooooo late :) like I remember after we broke some wine glasses I looked at my phone and was in COMPLETE shock that the calendar had changed to the next date. yep. I was up past midnight.

in fact, I JUST got a text that said,

"I have not stayed up until 2:30AM in like 10 years?! Haha are you tired? Sorry we stayed up late! Have a good day tomorrow!"

that text message sums up this weekend perfectly. a healthy life, good friends, GOOD DRINKS (which aided in to the 3AM bedtime) and tonight. a good night's sleep :)

try those 4 things and then get back to me :) I bet you can't help but smile.

Bring it on, Monday :)

:)

So I read the paper every single morning. yep, like an old person. while that means I do know the weather forecast and winning lotto numbers, I also know really random things. like I read the jail report section, the high school sports section and the CONTEST section... :)

So I knew I just HAD to enter our engagement story into the Bellingham Herald's Valentine's day "What's YOUR engagement story?" Contest.

I mean, for goodness sake. I pulled my diamond ring out of a PUMPKIN :) D deserves some kudos for that one.

wanna vote for us? :)

just click here
http://bellinghamherald.upickem.net/engine/Votes.aspx?PageType=VOTING&contestid=49887

and then we are the SECOND STORY OVER (the first in the right hand column)
just click the little circle that says"vote," then type the letters you see at the top of the page (ya know, like the security checker thing :)

you rock :) for voting on my rock :) and the awesome way it got on my pudgy little finger :)

we almost made it to Friday! woohoooo ;)

hopeless but hopeful

i am soooo sick of pulling my camera out of my purse when I see something I HAVE to take a picture of. I get the camera going, and take the picture. THE STUPID THING IS TURNED AROUND SO IT TAKES A PICTURE OF MY FACE. like the time I SWEAR I saw reese witherspoon at Subway (ended up with a picture of my forehead) or when I was trying to take a picture of what I thought could be mold on my BRAND NEW deli meat. I got this lovely face. (yes, this is my focused face.) I literally have like 20 pictures currently on my phone of myself, when I think I am taking a picture of something in front of me.

Remember how I wanted to cook dinner for my family one night a week?

well i found an awesome recipe in my Cooking Light magazine for Enchilada Cassarole and jalapeno refried black beans.

i went to the store and got allll the ingredients. (30 dollars later...)

I even splurged and got the extra nice hamburger meat :) it was like 8 flipping dollars.

so i was like okay. everyone will be home Wednesday night. i'll make it then. get home from work, walk in the door and say, "umm MOM, I WAS MAKING DINNER TONIGHT!! WHY DID YOU MAKE TERIYAKI CHICKEN?"

she forgot i was going to cook. fine. whatever.

next night, I decide to try again. I am getting the ingredients out and realize I can't find the hamburger. NOT in the freezer, not in the fridge... hmm...

you guys. i left it in my car. IN MY CAR. for like three days. vomit. and it was LIKE EIGHT DOLLARS! :)

so needless to say, I haven't made dinner yet for the fam. not off to a great start :)

Drew and I started our pre-marital class last week. We walk into the place, and there is a big ole cat waiting at the doorstep. drew is allergic to cats. like can't breathe. :)

The guy from the other couple is going to be a male nurse. that is great, but i think we may struggle finding things the boys have in common :)

I have kind of switched jobs. My last day at my old office was so sad. :( they threw me a party and all got together and got drew and I aprons because they know I love to bake so much :) so sweet. :) I will take a picture of us in our matching aprons soon. ;) i know you can't wait. Today was the first day at the "new" place, and I can't believe how God is just opening up my naive little eyes wider and wider and wider everyday.

twice this week (yes and it's only Wednesday) I was having a little emotional bride-to-be/busy at work/ HATE THE COLD RAINY NIGHTS/miss my friends/miss my old co-workers/miss my sister moment. during the first tearfest, i had JUST hung up the phone with my mom where I had called her crying saying, "MOMMMMMMMYYYYY, WHAT IF I DON'T GO TO HEAVEEEENNNN?" (I'm been weird lately. I am kinda obsessed with obituaries and think about death alot. not in a morbid way, just i think about it alot.???) anyways. RIGHT then. Kailee called me. it was PERFECT. she always makes me feel not so crazy :)

then today, I was going off about these CRAZY!!!! (watch Dateline tonight, anyone?) things that are happening at work and I was just getting so IRRITATED when I saw the little facetime symbol pop up on my phone. It was baby Evy and her momma!!!!!! AHHHH. I had never facetimed anyone before, and yes, i am late to the party, but IT IS SO FREAKING COOL! :) and those beautiful ladies are just so good for my soul. and baby E took a STEP today :)

enough of my emotional rant. i had a rough week, but each time I was feeling hopeless, I got a HUGE boost of hope :) life is good. ;)