10/9

this exact day one year ago I was minding my own business, carving my pumpkin when I pulled out something more than pumpkin seeds and guts...

this day last year this really cute boy gave me this ring and promised me forever. 

oh what a difference a year makes.  :)

a party, not a performance

love this. and it is so true. i am starting the nightmares. like i open my wedding dress bag on my wedding and the dress is BLACK. i wake up in cold sweats. but really? WHO CARES. 6 o'clock will come and go, and I will be married to Drew. :)

some wedding happenings from the weekend:

chevron bridal showers thrown by the amazing Mowry/James' ladies

successful bachelor party...i think?  i "font" wanna know the details :)

combining our lives is messy! good messy, though :) have you ever met a boy that has like 4 comforter sets? me either! ;) 

meetings with my "personal" graphic designer." :) 

things are getting serious, my friends. :) 

taking notes

my mom was in Seattle friday so i got delegated to go with my dad to my grandpa's sister's grandson's wedding :) ya with me? :)

it was the first wedding i have been to since i got engaged and started planning nuptials of my own.

and i don't think a wedding will ever be the same. :) i intricately studied the color of the chairs, wondering if maybe i should have gone wood instead of white.

i about fainted when i realized what a cute flower girl they had, actually THROWING flower petals. Hmm... pretttyy sure I didn't order any petals from the florist for Evs to throw.

i couldn't find my dad at one point and my uncle pointed over to where the cupcake tower was. my dad was literally behind it (where you aren't supposed to go) looking under the top tier to see how it was attached. screws or nails if a VERY important decision, ya know.

the flow, the timing, things I LOVED and things that I had never even thought of. Like a microphone for the pastor to use? Brilliant. :) I pretended like I was checking my email on my phone but really I was typing a note to myself about all the things I had realized I had forgotten. At one point I was talking to my third cousin while I was googling on my iphone under the table "unique wedding favor ideas that AREN'T food." low point. :)

PS Bryan and Ashley your wedding was beaaauuttiful :)

I was even taking a picture of their precious utensil wrappers (you know you are going a liiiiitle wedding planning crazy when you even know what a utensil wrapper is) when I heard the bride's dad say something that caused my head to jerk up.

It was almost time for cake, and speechs and toasts were being made. (apparently, i wasn't really paying attention. I was trying to figure out how many different salads they had.)

what got me? the bride's dad had the microphone and was standing up. all i heard?

"She is so happy when she is with you, and I never have seen her laugh so hard."

ya know what? that's what it's all about. it doesn't matter if the line to sign the guest book gets a little backed up. it doesn't matter the wording that goes in the programs. i wasn't even ENJOYING the wedding because I was sooo obsessed with all the little details and getting more ideas for my wedding.

I almost started feeling ashamed of myself. I hadn't even said hi to my relatives that were there or taken a picture with the beaming bride and groom. I was missing the ENTIRE focus of the celebration.

"she is so happy when she is with you." if you have that, the rest is history.

in that case? my wedding will be perfect. i'm not promising cute utensil wrappers or tossed flower girl petals but I am soooo happy when I am with that boy of mine, and all i can hope is that our wedding shows that :)

help?

soooo.

something old

something new

something borrowed

something blue?

HELP!??!!?

saw this and just BURST into tears. 

her something blue/something borrowed is this blue patch made from one of her dad's work shirts :)

that is the most precious thing EVER. 

what did YOU use for your wedding "somethings?"

woah...

i feel like the next month is something i have dreamed about since i was a little girl.

in one month from TODAY, i am getting married to the hottest boy i know and my best friend :)

like. ME. I will be going for my final dress fitting and to pick up my veil. granted it comes in :) 

in the next month i will begin to set up our "household". i will help drew move into "our house" and then I will move back home for a few weeks. 

i will finalize my wedding hair and what jewelry I want to borrow from my momma for MY wedding day.

i mean really. today drew broought over some stuff and i am pretty sure i put his extra linens into our "linen closet." WHAT? since when am i old enough to have a linen closet????

i will finalize the decorations on the cupcakes.

ugh. i will pick out the cupcake liners for those cupcakes. 

i will organize our pantry and our freezer. like we get to decide if we want icecream kept on the bottom shelf or the top. big decisions, people. 

we freaking have a joint email address. thank you comcast installer man. 

we are going to pick out "our" couch

i will have a sleepover with my best friends in the whole entire world, for one of my last hoorah's as a single woman :)

i will pick out outfits and things i want to pack for our honeymoon. yep. i feel like seriously i have thought about honeymoon outfits since I was a teenager. is that weird?? :) 

i will write vows that i have spent my whole life searching for. 

i will thank God that His plan was bigger and better than mine. bigger and better than that freshman year of college breakup, or that prom-date gone wrong.

these next four weeks are going to go by SO fast, and my goal is to really try and soak it all up. I have talked/dreamed about these next 31 days and i can't believe it's actually here. :) 

look what we did this weekend :)

bellis fair battle

okaaaaay.

drew kept complaing that we were missing the olympic trials, but oh my friends.
let me tell ya.

we just went through the olympic round of guy/girl shopping EXTREME.

things drew hates:

clothes shopping
pictures
picking out wrapping paper
cutting his hair
Bellis Fair Mall
shopping in general


things that the soon-to-be mcdonalds really needed to get done:

engagment picture clothes for drew
groom and groomsmen clothes for the wedding
baby shower gift for his niece
cut his hair for said engagement photos

I thought I had a great idea. kind of like the band-aid approach. Get it all over with at once.  Everything that Drew had been complaining that he had to do and errands that he had to run blah blah blah. I had the brilliant idea of "well, while we are doing some of these things, let's just cross them allll off the list." everything drew hates in one evening, instead of like one night a week for the next month.

I thought I was brilliant.

i'll admit. it was a disaster. I was wrong. toooo much at once.

The first dressing room attendent didn't know what to say when I asked if she could bring me a stiff drink. I wasn't kidding.

We had to RUN out of the next store, because we had left the dressing room and men's suit area SUCH a mess.

So girl's sizes are confusing enough. Is it a 2,4,6 scale or a 3,5,7 scale? Petites or longs?

LET ME TELL YOU!

Guy's have TWO numbers?!?!?!?! it's like having to find two things instead of one! I would get soo excited because I would find the right size of his taaaaaalllllll friend Chris, just to realize, oh what?!?! I have to find ANOTHER number two?!? A waist size? Hopeless.

I think the workers could sense we were a bit tense too, and weren't really volunteering their help.

Snippet of a comment I am NOT proud about but it was the heat of the moment:

we had EVERY size of his groosmen except DREW'S and he was trying to tell me he couldn't squish into a little smaller waste size. pshhh. girl's do it all the time :)

Me: Drew. You have eyes too, You can look for your size on this rack just as well as I can.
Drew: Apparently I don't have good eyes.
Me: Clearly not. Those are NOT the same grays.
Drew: Clearly not. I picked you.  

it was funny. but still. we really felt that way at the moment.

ehh. well we are here. might as well add a trip to baby GAP. Hahaha. I should have stopped now, but we were just too far in.

Drew doesn't understand why any child under the age of one would ever wear shoes, and he literally almost punched the counter when the cheerful cashier informed him of our miniture baby outfit total :)

Ehh. Now that my manly man is carrying a baby gap bag and some VERY expensive slacks, I decide welllll he still needs new jeans for the photo shoot this weekend.

Off we go.

I am waiting outside the dressing room when he comes out. HOLDING all of the stuff he was supposed to show me.

He exclaims that he didn't just want to leave all his normal clothes sitting in there, so there was no logical way to show me what he was trying on.

GIRLS. HOW DO YOU EVEN ARGUE WITH THAT? I was speechless. SUCH a logical boy perspective but soooo silly.


welp. weren't done. had to get wrapping paper and then round out the Target trip by going to get some outdoor lights for the wedding that were on sale. Drew was so beyond mad at this point, he was almost acting loopy.

I stopped dead in my tracks when I realized there was a problem. They were all out of the CLEAR globes, and only had frosted left. I looked and Drew and was about to say, "WHAT SHOULD WE DO? THEY ONLY HAVE FROSTED!" when he literally gave me the funniest look I have ever seen.

I said, "hi. i am hear holding a newborn outfit that costs more than I have EVER spent on myself, with a roll of pink wrapping papper. I bought a "turquiose v-neck" because you think it will match with the dress you got for our engagement pictures.  I just spent 3 hours trying to find like 5 pairs of pants that would look good on 5 different guys and you are really going to ask me if I think we should have clear or frosted bulb lights at our wedding?"

i decided it was not the best time to bring it up :)


quick little stop at the mcdonalds food court and we were on our way.

and i didn't even tell him that he left his coke on the top of the car when we drove away :)

he deserved it :)

fine. i SO didnt want to tell him, but I wussed out and at the last second said, "WAIT YOUR POP IS THE ON THE ROOF OF THE CAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

sometimes the all-or nothing approach is NOT good. like in this case.
PLUS. i just realized he didn't get a hair-cut and we didn't pick out his wedding ring like the original plan.

i foresee another fun night in the future. hopefully with a stiff drink :)

eeeeek :)

a remember a couple weeks ago when I had finally sent in the final okay of the wedding invitation draft, and I said,

"well, no turning back now."

my co-worker turned to me and said,

"actually that's not true. Not until you have mailed them out."


welp. no turning back now then :)

i feel silly even trying to post pictures of my bridal shower that my bridesmaids/friends hosted for me. 

pictures won't even do it justice. it was just PERFECT and soooo me :) wellll, besides the "lingerie theme" :) 

these are just the little pictures I snapped with my phone and camera but I didn't even get half of the amazing details or the smiling faces of the hostesses with the mostesses and the lovely guests (like katie and julie who came from seattle or jen with baby ford or my gram who had to watch her granddaughter open lingerie) that came to celebrate :) 

i think lo played photographer so hopefully i will get more to share later :) 

the brunch theme was delicious! 

evy thought so too :) 

everything was so sweet and pink :)

and don't even get me started with my sister's party favors. AMAZING. i loooove me some pink nail polish and she was so cute in passing down that fun detail to the girls :) 

took this home for a momento ;)

one of the sweet hostesses, she was SO amazing ;) 

can't stop smiling. 

:) i am so blessed. 

from the newlyweds to the 30 year marriages, my single friends and my friends with boyfriends, I am SO lucky to learn so much from these amazing ladies; both how to throw a partaaaay and how to be a better lady :) 

"whoever walks with the wise becomes wise"

proverbs 13:20

ohh centerpieces

i am slightly turning into a scary person and i don't like it.

the bride-ness and crunch time is getting to me :)

but all the lovely people in my life are reminding me to just smile.

like when I was playing around with centerpieces and stuck this on the table.

my dad took one look and it and said dead-serious, 

"what is that? Is it for if someone has to throw up?"

thanks dad, for reminding me what this is really about. 

laughs and smiles and looooove. :)

how am i feeling?

i think that sometimes the right thing doesn't don't always feel good. 

i was talking to this young girl who had just broken up with her boyfriend. she was telling me stories and stories about how he treated her SO badly and she knew he wasn't right for her.

she broke up with them, but was crying and telling me about how she knows it was the right thing to do, but she doesn't feel that wave of  "relief" deep inside that everyone told her she would feel when she finally ended it with him.

i keep telling her that i think it's TOTALLY okay to have done the right thing or made the right decision, but not feel instantly happy or carefree.

i think it's okay to make the right decision and still feel awful. it's okay to be sad, it's okay to be mad, it's okay to feel like it's not fair. 

just because you feel that way, doesn't mean you made the wrong decision.

lately i feel like my menopausal mother (sorry mom :) with the range of emotions i feel throughout the week (and throughout the day for that matter :)

lots of things are a-changin' and change is hard for this bride-to-be :)


i feel: annoyed

 that target won't return a bridesmaid dress that i had ordered online for a larger since because they claim it is past their "90 day" return period.
 
i think i have a valid excuse for needing to exchange it for a bigger size...

E IS PREGNANT! :)

i feel: blessed to be an "auntie" again and to see e's beautiful little family grow :) 


i feel: a liiittttle overwhelmed

 the lawn at the lake house is now our responsibility (orrrr my responsibility i suppose until drew moves in? :). the lawn is BIG. moving a lawn is harder than it looks? and weeding? umm... i need a lesson? and compost and planting grass seed and keeping my grandpa's special tree alive? and then "edging"? ahh....

i feel: proud of my manly man for mowing the front lawn for the first time on sunday :)

i feel: soooo giggly and red-faced

the loot from my lingerie-themed bridal shower this last weekend is beyond amazing. :)

i feel: so excited! ;)

and like i need to re-vamp the ab routine the next few months ;) 

i feel: a little tipsy and crazy and like i am in college again

friday night before my bridal shower some of my friends came up from seattle and we got cupcake wine and cupcakes and ate them sitting on the counter in the lakehouse kitchen with our hands since we didn't have forks. we jumped on the uni-bed we made in the living room and then eventually crashed after talking forever. :) 

i feel: like my load is lighter after good old-fashioned girl talk

i feel: scared to death to be the "center of attention" 

my new polka-dot dress that i wore to my bridal shower. gold accessories. as in big hoops and strappy sandals :)

i feel: like everything is gonna be okay when my friend's mom yells "ROCK IT GIRL" with a big smile on her face at the shower :) 

i think it's okay to feel it all, cuz ya know what?

i'm pretty sure i'm exactly where i should be :) 

my new dress that I wore 

I need your help!

so while we are making lots of progress with the wedding planning. there is one part that has not been decided.

in fact, it is barely talked about, because we just end up mad.

the groom/groomsmen attire...

drew has informed me that the reason he doesn't want to talk about it is because he think that if we run out of ideas and time is too close, i will let him wear a tuxedo. 

no no. not a tuxedo tuxedo. a tuxedo T SHIRT. i think he is kinda kidding, but i am not 100% sure?

the slogan? "look spiffy and still have enough money to get your drink on." perfect :)

 soo. if i don't come up with something quick, the boys will be rocking these. 

and i thought wedding dress shopping was hard. there are lots of options for the males too :)

we could go the vest route...

or the artistic look...

we could do grays?

or different shades of grays?

or what about the beachy khaki look?

in the khaki department there are lots of cloth options. i vote linen. every man i say this to shoots me down immediately. since when have they cared about wrinkles in their clothes?!?!

even if you decide on the main color, tie or no tie? colored ties? different colored ties?

then we thought about mixing up the khaki/colors a little more?

too dark of khaki? what about some good ole seersucker? :) 

hahahah. oh man. if only drew knew I was really considering sticking him in seersucker. i am sure he has no idea what that even means, and just the mere mention of the word could probably convince him it's time to go shopping for his wedding clothes. seersucker or tuxedo shirt? i see a compromise on the horizon... ;)

Favorite things

i got a little worried today. 

it was like an hour ago that I realized I had 

had a smile on my face for the last  TWELVE hours 

straight. (well minus the hour that my dad and I were running SEVEN miles this morning. I doubt I had a smile on my face then. ) 

why did this worry me?

Because I didn't hang out with Drew at all today. 

umm. i kind of panicked that I had one of the best saturdays I had had in a LONG time and didn't see my future husband even for ONE second. Is that bad? Was my marriage doomed? Would I never be happy again after August 18th? Was I making the wrong decision if I had such a great day without him?

i should have been miserable and spending all day thinking about how much i missed him....

uh-oh.

considering he had samoa ice-cream in his freezer (i kid, i kid :) I came over to his house and found myself telling him all about my day. Then I got a little sheepish and looked down at the ground. 

"Do you think it's bad I had such a great day without you? is that like a bad sign for our relationship?"

I think I was scared of his answer. What was he gonna say?

I looked up and he smiled at me and said, " No! That makes me happy you had such a good day! I just feel bad for you after August 18th!" :) 

it was so weird. he was genuinely HAPPY to hear about my fun day. he asked questions and I remember things that I had come across today that I couldn't wait to tell him about. He was happy FOR me, not jealous or sad or irritated that I didn't need him in the last 10 hours to be in a good mood. 

Drew doesn't DEFINE me, I am not nothing without him. 

In fact, I am a perfectly capable young woman whose life has changed for the BETTER because of the unconditional love from him for the stuff that makes me ME. :) 

i was thinking about all the fun stuff I did today. and it all connected back to him in some way or another. and that my friends, is what I consider l o v e. 

"and he did something to me that I can't quite explain with words, he took me to a new place, 

he introduced me to myself. "

my day?

 busted out the beach towels, beach party dinner, went to breakfast, hung out with my sister, ran wedding errands...

he had a good day too, perhaps it was a coincidence his good day included NOT running wedding errands and doing wedding crafts? hmm... :) 

aahhhh, FREAK OUT!

well my friends. my 4-5 year room and board at the parental house is quickly winding down to an end. :) I think it really hit me last night....

A few things I HATE:

~being the first one in the shower in the morning. The water in the bottom is ice-cold and the shower floor is FREEZING.

~being the first one up in the morning to turn on all the lights in the rest of the house.

~having to go outside and get the newspaper. (my dad and i have a routine. he gets it, and he reads the main news while I read the sports page and then we switch.)

conveniently, I haven't had to do these things very many times in the last 5 years. :) but alas, this is coming to an end. I think next week I will be starting to move into the lakehouse where the future McDonald's will reside in August!

so, this weekend was a practice. the parents went to Seattle for a mini vacay aka to take a break from their lovely daughter aka to hide from bridezilla.

it was FABULOUS. I could bake in the kitchen and not get in trouble for making a mess (only downfall, my mom wasn't there to give in and clean up for me hehe). I made reese peanut butter bars and white chocolate macademia nut cookies. I got takeout mexican and skinny girl margaritas and took to my grandma's on Saturday night for a little cinco de mayo partay with her. I went on a looong run and didn't have to tell anyone where I was going and what time I would be back so if I wasn't back by that time they could come searching for me. (safe I know, but annoying cuz I have to stick to that time schedule. what if i wanna start walking so my run takes an extra twenty minutes?) :)

I even WEEDED my parent's side bank. I HATE weeding when someone tells me to, but it was actually kinda fun since it was my own choice. :)

and this morning? I got to read the WHOLE paper in the order I wanted (not fighting over the Target ads with my mom). I got myself a latte and made some pancakes and it was just fabulous.

even though I LOVED my 48 hours of Lindsay alone time, I am excited for my roommates to come home this afternoon. cuz jeez, my laundry basket is getting full and the recycling needs to be taken out. and I gotta soak up every last second of being pampered for the last. week. AHHHHHHH :)

:)

Snappy Sorbet

So remember those color palets that E found for me? So yeah. the wedding is going to be in light pinks, corals, dark pinks and kinda orange sherbert color?

so needless to saaaaay, my eyes have been kind of drawn to those colors lately. I don't think I had realized how bad it had gotten.

Friday night, Drew and I ran into Target because I needed something? I think that was how I tricked him into going... :) Anyways...

It all started when we were driving to the mall, and we passed the Country Feed and Seed Store. I said, "ohhh they have little duckies in! look!"

Drew looked at me and said, "oohhh maybe you should get each of your bridesmaid a duckling for their bridesmaid gift and dye their feathers wedding colors."

little sassy boy, that he is. I just glared and kept on driving :)

but then in Target, it started out with me seeing a tank top that was striped in coral, light pink and orange and I was debating for about 15 minutes about if I wanted to get it for my bridesmaids to have as PJ's the night before the wedding. 

normal, right? ;)

then Drew chipped in, "hey Linds! Look at plastic toy boat! it's in the wedding colors! Put it in the cart!"

we turned the corner towards the clothes,

"hey Linds! workout dri-fit shorts in the PERFECT wedding color! You HAVE to get it; throw it in the cart!

From ACROSS like five aisles I hear,

"LINDS WHERE ARE YOU????? IS THERE ANYWAY WE CAN INCORPORATE THIS PURSE INTO THE WEDDING?? IT'S THE WEDDING COLOR!

little rascal was mocking me the ENTIRE target trip.

but the best was when he stopped dead in his tracks, turned to me and said,

"LOOK! Loofah's in the wedding color! you should get one for each of your bridesmaids and they can use it when they shower the morning of the wedding!"

okay fine. I get it. I need to tone down the coral/pink radar.

 but i did make it out of our shopping trip with this. snappy sorbet. take that, drew :)