the week

today we got the sad news that my grandma's aunt and her husband were killed in a car wreck in Mexico. They lived in New Mexico and always spent the winter across the border. These two LOVEDD life (i can always remember everyone was happy when they came to visit because they were the life of the party and always brought lots of tequila from Mexico :) They were leaving a restaurant and went the wrong direction on the freeway. yikes. Might I add he was 92 years old? double yikes.

anyways. once again, the shock of death and our finality on this earth really weirds me out.

like you really never know when it could be your last breath taken or word spoken on this earth.

throw that with how sentimental I feel about 2013 approaching and how I kind of started crying putting away our christmas decorations (I know, I know. weird.) and you have an emotional Lindsay on this Sunday afternoon.

i was flipping though my instagram and just started realizing how lucky I am. so many funny moments from this week that seemed so small and insignificant, but I don't ever want to forget them. they make me happy.

the seahawks poncho made an appearance again. and we won. :) playoffs here we come :)

some sparkly New Year's nails

Wii Just Dance DISNEY?! umm. this is amazing. choreographed dancing to "bare nessecities". 

morning latte with the hubby :)

grateful for little moments. sometimes the big moments turn out to be those little things :) 

how i justify the richard sherman situation

even before i met drew, i liked sports more than the average girl I would say. i think its because my dear ole daddy doesn't have any sons so I was the chosen one to watch sports wiht him.

then, add my mild interest to the fact that i married a sports FANATIC and you can see how this household goes through quite a lot of ESPN.

we love ourselves the seattle seahawks. :)

if you havent been listening to sports news lately, you might not know that we are the hottest team in the NFL cruising into the playoffs. :)

nothing says, "go team like a wool pancho from mexico. in the wrong seahawks shade of blue." hahaha

one of our rising stars tested positive for adderall and was facing a suspension.

he claims that the test was not run correctly, and therefor he should not be suspended.

today he had his hearing.

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yesterday i was doing a little post-christmas shopping (thats what gift cards are for, duh) and i found myself giving the once over to the lady who owns the cute little boutique I was at. The shop has the CUTESTTTT clothes ever and all the workers are just always in the cutest outfits I could imagine. But this day, I found myself staring at the owner, thinking about how un-put together she looked and how I could not believe that she was wearing american eagle jeans when her store is BRIMMING with hudsons and sevens. (nothing against AE jeans, they were my staple in high school :)

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on my way to work this morning I was stuck behind a car on the freeway doing 45 miles an hour I kid you not. They would put their blinker on, and act like they were going to get change back into the "slow" lane but then change their mind. this went on every 10 seconds or so. To make matters worse, everytime we got near an on-ramp, they would SLAM on their breaks when we saw an on-coming car, even though we werent even in the lane they were entering. I was mad because I had no more reason to get a skinny peppermint mocha (christmas is OVER :( ) and this car was not helping with my morning angst. I noticed they had a JESUS IS MY HOMEBOY bumper sticker.

I seriously saw that sucker and instead of being like, "oh bless their slow driving souls," I was like, "a-ha! I found something that you aren't doing right in your so-called godly journey... neiner neiner bo bo." I don't care if you have read the bible cover to cover, you SUCK AT DRIVING!"

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i'm getting a little better at giving myself some grace when the going gets tough.

but extending that grace to others? we need that now more than ever.

in a word of comparisons, fighting to be the best, the hottest, the skinniest, have the biggest paycheck or the biggest coach purse and have the most followers on instagram, we have to realize that everything we (you and I) do plays into it, as well.

let's give each other a break, ladies. cuz if we don't do it for eachother, no one else will.

am i condoning richard sherman taking un-prescribed adderall? no no. calm down. i just think we expect these 23 year old men to be superhuman body builders who never dare drop a slippery football, but then we are the first to criticize the second they turn to something to help make them "enough."

so lady in the store, rock those american eagle jeans.

and slow driver, i'm sorry for picking out your flaws when you declared yourself "jesus's homeboy"

that's not my job.... :)

and i need to work on what is my job....

loving :)

flared jeans and all.

p.s. richard sherman won his appeal. heck yes. :) go hawks! :) hehe

merry christmas!

merry christmas from us! :)

i hope you had a great day. I hope you slept great and woke up to cinnamon rolls. I hope Santa brought you a new ipad and then you got some clothes that you have to return because they were too big :) i hope you found in your stocking that one awesome thing that you mentioned you wanted one random time last month and someone remembered. I hope you had the right amount of wine (not too much=sleepy, not enough = boring) i hope you got prime rib and twice baked potatoes and some pie. or cake. or chocolate. or a little bit of everything.

I thought this is what Christmas was. You felt loved by the gifts and "merry christmas's" you got and how many likes your instagram photos got. 

it's not. i hope you had a great day because you really, truly honestly in your heart realize that God loves you. Yes. You. He knew the day you were going to be born. He knows how many hairs are on YOUR head. Yep. You. God loves YOU, SO much. I hope you know that. 

I guess I always knew that I was supposed to know that because of all those songs ("Jesus loves me this I know, for the bible tells me so")

just recently I have begun to get it. He loves ME. He chose ME. 

i have wasted so many tears and christmas's and family gatherings really doubting how someone we all sing about and worship at Christmas could really love someone like me. 

I just hope you felt today, even just for a second, a FRACTION of how much He loves you. 

“Remember, you are special because I made you. And I don’t make mistakes.” ~Max Lucado

"remember that Christmas is not YOUR birthday"

christmas season

what have we been up to our first christmas as mr and mrs.?

i tried to make christmas cookies for my friend's christmas brunch,

it turned out the fire detector going off should have been my first hunch...

don't let the golden tops fool you they were burnt on the bottom black,

the one on the right? drew took a bite and i think his tooth got a crack :)

we have been busy with our work holiday parties and the newest trend of glitter,

it's been nice we can go to parties without having to worry about getting a baby sitter! 

we have been shopping and rounding up gifts for our family and friends,

it was nice to see our shopping list finally come to an end ;)

i could not figure out what to properly call the garbage man on his card or what i should do.

my friend googled and found the correct name is a "sanitation engineer". who knew?!

we got Dairy Queen blizzards and went on a drive to see the Christmas lights,

my candy cane icecream was delicious until the very last bite.

we turned up the heat and pretended it was snowing, 

we got a little lost on our adventure before we figured out where we were going. 

we have been wrapping and wrapping and wrapping some more,

i keep finding glitter ALL over the floor...

i have been decorating the tree and Drew has been charge of making sure it gets enough water,

my dad bought this ornament to remember running a half marathon with his oldest daughter :)

i run out to the mailbox everyday awaiting the mail,

i made this whole project without a single nail. :)

we are so blessed with our family, friends, jobs, health and even our little married fights,

so merry christmas to you ALL, and to all a good night :) 

angels

We're all kissed by angels but some of us never think to pucker. 

 ~Terri Guillemets

mom: "i think next year we should all stay in a groupon and go shopping in seattle for a few days at christmas time."

 grandma's head spins around and glares at my mom: "WHY WOULD WE STAY IN A GROUP HOME?!?"

cue taco del mar spewing out of my mouth

thanks for the laughs grammy (groupon does sound A LOT like group home) and for the christmas decorations. I love them and will keep them forever and ever and then pass them onto my oldest granddaughter when she gets married :) 

never too close to christmas to start a tradition. what could you do? :) 

mustache necklace and a splat ball

the new movie theater opened up in town. not like we are a little po donk town without a movie theather, but this is like a fancy smancy theater. IMAX, 3-D, big neon lights, the whole shebang. Last week they had 2 dollar movies playing to make money for charity.

I thought it was would fun to take jenna and megs to see the Grinch so wednesday night rolls around I pick them up and off we go. I was so excited; such a christmas-y thing to do. Well. everyone else and their mother thought that too.

all the movies were sold out for the next three hours.

plan b?

umm. there was no plan B. we were going to go see a cute christmas movie and then go get icecream after. what do you mean it was sold out?!

the only logical thing to do next was to go to the mall. not to see a movie, but to just hang out. haha.

well. after some target icees we were ready to shop.

justice (jen's favorite store= tween/sparkle/grandma NIGHTMARE) was having a buy one get two free jewelry sale, so Jen got to pick out a necklace.

She decided on a color changing mustache necklace and a matching mustache bracelet. Yes, like a silver chain with a 3 inch long MUSTACHE hanging from it.

she was SO excited. she actually yelled OH MY GOSH. THIS IS THE BEST DAY EVER. MY MOM OR GRANDMA WOULD NEVER LET ME GET SOMETHING LIKE THIS!

how could i say no to that?

so off we went to the little kiosk in the middle of the mall where megan picked out a splat ball. ya know, one of those squishy water filled balls that you throw on the ground.

i had megs on one side of me bounching the ball and jenna bopping up and down asking me if her mustache charm was yellow. I had no idea why she kept asking me that, until she informed me that yellow meant, "jumpy". duhhh, Lindsay. what was I thinking.

So not what I thought of my precious little Christmas moving outing with the little girls. my poor grammy cringed when I told her about the necklace I let her get, and unfortunately, the splat ball exploded yesterday. in the house :) sorry, auntie ;)

today i about had a mental breakdown. I had been downtown shopping TWICE in like an hour, in the last five days I have probably been at the mall 7 times and STILL had some people (drew included) that needed Christmas presents. after two lattes, a near parallel parking job collision and the horrid fact that I actually sighed loudly at an elderly lady who was taking forever to park her car, I finally got it.

this doesn't matter. it does. not. matter. target is not going to miraculously come up with the perfect stocking stuffer that will make my husband love me even more. baby Ford is not going to care which of the two puzzles I decided to get him. finding the ribbon that matches the chevron wrapping paper is not going to make me a better person.

what matters is that I was spending the entire day cranky, shoving my way through crowds and thinking that the starbucks barista needed to be fired when he asked if "skinny latte" meant sugar free syrup. yes. it does, by the way.

so i set my target basket down in the laundry soap aisle (sorry target employees!! :( ) and got into the car. I went home, kissed my hubby and went to play with the little girls.

megs said, "why did you go to the mall AGAIN?"

good question, megs. I don't know why. 

"well good, cuz we can have a sprinkle explosion instead"~jenna

and sprinkle explosion we did :)

max lucado

Dear Jesus,
It’s a good thing you were born at night. This world sure seems dark. I have a good eye for silver linings. But they seem dimmer lately.

These killings, Lord.  These children, Lord.  Innocence violated.  Raw evil demonstrated.

The whole world seems on edge. Trigger-happy. Ticked off. We hear threats of chemical weapons and nuclear bombs. Are we one button-push away from annihilation?

Your world seems a bit darker this Christmas.  But you were born in the dark, right? You came at night.

The shepherds were nightshift workers. The Wise Men followed a star. Your first cries were heard in the shadows. To see your face, Mary and Joseph needed a candle flame. It was dark. Dark with Herod’s jealousy. Dark with Roman oppression. Dark with poverty.  Dark with violence.
Herod went on a rampage, killing babies. Joseph took you and your mom into Egypt. You were an immigrant before you were a Nazarene.

Oh, Lord Jesus, you entered the dark world of your day. Won’t you enter ours? We are weary of bloodshed. We, like the wise men, are looking for a star. We, like the shepherds, are kneeling at a manger.

This Christmas, we ask you, heal us, help us, be born anew in us.

Hopefully,

Your Children

---

© 2012 Max Lucado

after watching all the news and twitter feeds about connecticut, i started kind of having a panic attack/feeling clausterphobic, so I decided I needed some pretty scenery and a nice run.

maybe just because I was focusing on them, but there were kids EVERYONE. kid's happy that they got early release on the last day of school before Christmas break. Kids talking about their Christmas lists. Kids loud and screaming ALL over the park. All I could think about was the 20 sets of parents across the country that would give anything to hear their babies screaming and running around the park.

i was just so sad. i was pretty much alone on the tree-lined trail and I came around the corner and saw this random little tree decorated.

i burst into blubbery tears and literally was sobbing so loud and hard that I couldn't see out of my tear stained eyes. It was what my heart needed. It was like in ALLLLLL the forest-y trees, someone knew we needed a shining light right here.

it's the simple things. it really is.
god is good, all the time.
all the time, god is good.

i feel like i was chanting this all day in my head.

hug your babies a little tighter today, and take a few extra seconds to soak in the REAL beauty of christmas. whether its the sound of the red bell ringer at the grocery store or the tinsel covered fir tree on the boulevard trail.

i'm sad

i'm sad.

the tv is on sports a lotttt in this household and that means when I get sick of watching sports my eyes go to the little ticker that goes across the bottom with "breaking" sports news.

just this week,

a 25 year old Kansas City Chiefs player killed his girlfriend and then committed suicide at the football stadium, leaving behind his 3 month old baby girl.

then on Saturday it was a Dallas Cowboy who has been charged with intoxicated manslaughter. He was driving drunk when his Mercedes crashed and his teammate was killed. His same teammate that he also played college football with.

Sometimes we get to watch non-sports related things and I get to see non-sports related news.

the story about the nurse that was at the receiving end of that prank phone call about Princess Kate and her pregnancy? She committed suicide. You guys. A radio station prank called the hospital and pretended to be the King and Queen and asked to talk to their granddaughter Kate. The mother of two nurse put them through to a triage nurse who gave them details.

Heck, while I was in the bathroom at the tennis club this weekend before our match started I heard a pre-teen girl (probably about ten) talking to her mom about how some other girls in her PE class told everything that they saw her the extra large tag on her t-shirt in her locker and they went and told all the boys.

break.my.heart.

it's so easy in this time of reality tv, athletes being paid INSANE amounts of money to throw around a ball, and when famous celebrities weddings cost more than I will make in my lifetime. (cough, cough Justin Timberlake + Jessica Biel. :) i get caught up in it too. Well that kicker for that football team deserves to be ridiculed, his ONLY job is to kick field goals and get paid millions of dollars. how dare he miss. and i also am not advocating drunk driving and being reckless. I think actually that is the problem. Too many of us think we are just too invincible.

i guess my heart is just sad. sad for the pranks that get taken just a smidge too far. sad for the young lives SO full of potential that end too short. Sad that is what our news has to be about.

i probably should have been nicer to that 12 year old girl from the locker room when she cut me in line for the water fountain. I guess I shouldn't be so envious of football players younger than me with bank accounts full to the tens of millions. we all have battles that we deal with, and I just wanna learn to approach everyone with love. i think the world really needs that right now.

life lately

i feel like the last few years, i was spoiled in the sense of not having to do "chores". (don't act shocked.) :)

I worked, lived with my parents, dated drew and worked out. 

i didn't worry about my laundry, about grocery-shopping about making sure the leaves aren't clogging the drain in the front yard, about just who exactly does vacuum up all the pine needles that fall from the christmas tree. 

i had time to write cards, to bake new recipes, make crafts and pin awesome things on pinterest. 

but i think that also left a lot of time for me to think about things. think about life. which is GOOD, but at the same time, I think a lot of my anxiety, depression came from just having to much time to ponder things. 

i have been feeling SO much better the last year or so, and I think a big part of that is due to the fact that I am BUSY. When you have laundry to do and beds to make, there isn't as much time for my brain to worry about "silly" impractical things. i have been so busy with happy life things. I love when life is like that :)

as of lately:

last week while I was in Seattle for the GRE I got to go see one day old baby Jonah Grey. I love him. He is perfect. and his momma did such a fabulous job. so did daddy and big sister :)

and newborn baby presents? is there anything cuter? i think not.

drew and i played in the Holiday Open tennis tournament this weekend. we won our first match and then lost our next one in a CLOSE third set. :( Drew braided my hair before our match on Friday night so I could have a "tennis player braid." not too shabby drewski :) hahaha

we also have been busy bees getting the house ready for CHRISTMAS. picking out a CHristmas tree was quite the event in our house growing up. perhaps because my dad is a PERFECTIONIST and it took quiiite awhilel to find the "perfect" tree. 

thus, I have HIGH expectations for my christmas tree. i don't think poor Drew knew what he was getting himself into.

we found a tree and then let me tell ya. Drew got into decorating. He was looking at the tree from every angle making sure we didn't need to clip any more branches. He almost was worse than my dad. I created a monster :)

"When we  ask our children 'What do you want for Christmas?', we are asking a question that breeds selfishness.  

In order to develop selflessness we should be asking 'What are you going to give?'  

Christmas is the celebration of God's great gift- giving -" 

~robert flatt

gre

i took the GRE this morning.

(the GRE is not to be confused with the GED. no offense to GED recipients, but when a couple people have asked me what I have been studying for and I say the GRE, they think I am saying the GED. what do i say to that? no, actually. it's a test to get into graduate school, not a high school diploma. anyway you say that phrase you just come out sounding snobby. but really. they are't the same test :)

regardless, i took that darn test. 

there are only two places in WA state that offer the test and one happened to be RIGHT down the street from where my sister leaves. She so kindly took me in for the evening. Things were going fabulous until I took a shower in the morning at the crack of dawn and realized UMM... I FORGOT TO PACK PANTS! hahaha. i don't know why, it just seemed so funny to me. I had been so engrossed in cramming my brain with vocabulary words and math equations I had forgotten to pack any pants. nothing some good work khakis from the day before can't fix. 

after i solved the pants dilemma, i worked my way to my sisters kitchen where she had so kindly gotten me my favorite oatmeal cup (purple lid! try it!) for a power breakfast. You are supposed to microwave it for 50 seconds but when I pushed the 5 button, it went to five minutes. I thought okay. I'll just watch it for 50 seconds and we'll be good...

three minutes later. 

oatmeal ALLL over the microwave and lovely toasted oats :(

i get to the testing center and after having to empty out all my pockets, take off my shoes and be run through a metal detector, I was ready to take that flipping test. 

oh yeah. they also allowed you TWO tissues. 

as in I have a runny nose and I was allowed to bring in TWO tissues for the four hour test. and yes, they counted the tissues.

you get your scores right after the test so two numbers pop up on the screen. I run into the car, get out my phone and start goggling my scores. 

i first read something that talks about how 170 was a perfect score. 

umm.. i wasn't that far off from that. HOLLLLLA.

a little more research? one number signals like a 10% percentile change. haha. so three points? oh just a change of close to 30%. hahaha. so maybe I didn't do quite so hot. 

more research.

i find a blog thread about someone lamenting their awful scores and how they will NEVER get into their program. (same scores as me and I start to feel a little defeated.)

I read one and see they are applying to Duke school of Engineering. so okay. perhaps I wouldn't get into that program. 

the more I research, the more I realized I did fine. 

not EXCELLENT, but above average. :)

and for someone who forgot to pack pants and who exploded oatmeal in the microwave, i'll take it :)

P.S. "bonhomie" means good-natured, easy friendliness. definitely got that one wrong. :) whoooops :)

last year, my friend Jill from work and I made these and had them on our desks for the month of December. the goal? to remind us of our challenge. To not buy anything for ourselves from 12-1 to Christmas. 

i mean, yes. I can buy lunch and the occasional latte, but it more relates to clothes, makeup etc. stuff I really can do without. yes, I know lattes fit into that catergory as well, but that's not the way we set up our little challenge. and it's my challenge so i can choose :)

i had completely forgotten about this until Jill texted me Saturday asking if we were doing it again. 

i tried to think of excuses. 

there are none. 

i can do it.

here goes :) 

decisions, decisions!

well. i watched our wedding video again tonight. and i really love it. and miss jessica paige who comes home on tuesday for christmas break. :)

you should watch it again, too :)

while the wedding video highlights the beautiful essence of the wedding, looking at all the little details brought me back to (cringe) ALL THOSE DARN DECISIONS.

what stencil should I get to paint the direction signs? i probably went to 4 different crafts stores debating which stencils to use. ( i really don't like italic fonts. and allll the stencils seemed to be italics. get with it, people :)

these feelings may or may not also be stirring up because of my lovely sister's upcoming nuptials (they picked a date, by the way!) and my incessant searching for the perfect bridesmaid dress :)

it happens to me ALL the time.

silly, silly SILLY things. and i mean, yes, i think it is normal to shop around and want to find exactly what you are looking for.

but mine gets a liiiiitle out of control.  difficult choice.

but then this weekend my little trip to the mall where the rugs were HALF off caused a near-panic attack. 

this was the first round, where I think I sat on an ottoman for at LEAST twenty minutes deciding between patterned and solid. 

i started to get really sweaty, kinda shaking and my sister, drew and my mom weren't responding to my picture texts for input. 

i decided i needed some air. I walked back to Target, got my car and then drove around the mall to where the rug's were.

then I found these, and "narrowed" down the decision? 

yep, i had taken over two aisles and the beginning of the bath towel section. and yep, people got the evil eye when they walked over the rugs. 

i felt paralyzed. i could not for the LIFE of me make a decision. Normally when this happens, I get so scared of making the wrong decision and having buyer's regret that I usually just leave and don't get anything. I started walking away when I got sidetracked by Marc Anthony's new clothesline for me. march anthony??? i was thinking to myself, "what would Drew do if I brought him home his silky button up and said it was designed by Marc Anthony?" 

after that mild distraction, I realized I was going to suck it up and go pick out a gosh darn rug for drew's little "man cave" room.

I almost eenie-miney minnie-moed which one and off I ran to the checkstand before I could change my mind. 

that night, I read the chapter in Angie Smith's newest book called "mended" about choice. 

Angie, like me and LOTS of other women I know, have a hard time deciding between the 56 flavors of   grape jelly in the grocery store, or the smells of the zillion different hair deep conditioners. 

"we are tempted to believe that we are one step away from the thing that will make everything else go away. If we can smell every bottle of cheap shampoo we can get our hands on, we might find the one that makes him love us more. If we buy the right Barbie, then she won't remember the times I've not been patient.

I don't need a thousand choices in this life, I need Him"

this could be pertain to lots of different choices. right and wrong choices. moral choices and unhealthy choices. but i also think it means that I am giving "first world" problems and insignificant decisions way too much power and room in my life. 

when i let those pesky things bother me and put me in a tizzy, I need to remember to take deep breaths like my psychologist says and think really the only choice I need to make. day in and day out. 

and p.s.

drew liked the rug. in fact, he got home from his work trip and I found him in the "man cave," video game on, headset on, MICROPHONE down so he can talk to people while he plays??!?! and frozen peas down this pants because he hurt his hip at tennis and was icing his leg. ahahaha. i was dying. 

i asked him if he liked the new rug, and he said, "huh? that's new? yeah, it's nice."

:)

"it always comes down to choosing Him. In a world overrun with choices, He is our choice."