brown lowlights

these are the last 7 pictures saved on my iphone:

which means they are highly important and you all need to know about them.

GO TRY THIS! Crystal Light in liquid form. Pour yourself some water, add a couple drops. Pour yourself some vodka, add a couple drops. I usually don't even like Crystal Light but this is delicious!

oh boy. i have been craving a change and decided it would be fun to change my dark hair up a little for summer. (aka i saw a picture of myself and realized how drab dark hair and a ghostly white face looks :)

i made an impromptu appointment with my hair lady and decided I wanted some color. 

i haven't had my hair colored in ten years. and that was when the two inch thick white streaks were hot ;)

needless to say, I was nervous. These were my inspirations. Whenever I would ask Drew if he liked a picture, he would simply see it was Mila and say, "oh yeah. that hair color looks great..." ;)

i researched and found out the correct term for what i wanted was "brown lowlights"

so in I went... full foil, three hours and a god-forsaken amount of money later...

you will have to wait and see the finished product tomorrow. it is too dark to take a good picture now ;)

i have a new favorite game. when I go to bed and Drew is still awake watching TV (aka NBA playoffs) I like to send him funny pictures. My goal is to get him to chuckle outloud so I can hear from the bedroom. 

this was my best find from last night :)

mandy and t's wedding countdown is on. They were in T's brother wedding a few weekends ago in arizona, and this was just so precious. can't wait to see their wedding pictures in july :) a very photogenic couple if i do say so myself...

kind of like another couple i know...

;)

happy wednesday ;)

wise hannah

if you are feeling blue- try painting yourself a different color. 

~hannah, age 8

i'm gonna try lavender ;) 

lest i forget

ya know how when you aren't in that "storm" of life, it's rather easy to tell everyone else, "this too shall pass," and "God knows what he is doing, this will make you stronger?"

when you aren't the one having to turn that deep pain/ heartbreak into some sort of blessing, it seems easy. Don't worry about it, it will all work it.

on the giving end of that, you seem so wise.

on the receiving end? i might want to punch you in the face (just kidding but you know what I mean.)

i've sure noticed this. it's pretty darn easy to say that to a friend who is going through something tough, but to actually BELIEVE it with every fiber of your heart is a different thing.

i have been blasting my car radio sunroof down, aviator sunglasses on, sun shining listening to lyrics like that.

yes, yes, yes! loving life. bring it on.


lately... not so much.

i think it all kind of came to a halt on Tuesday. I was planning tennis with my dad (who is just back from his knee surgery) and i just wasn't having it. I was tired, feeling like I had absolutely NO energy to go cook dinner, i knew i had to do laundry because the McDonald household was down to scary jeans (ya know, the ones that should be thrown away but you keep them for when you have no other clean pants?) and I just felt blah. I whiffed a serve (which is like what a 3 year old does learning to play tennis) and then when we were leaving guess who walked in? One of the ladies that had interviewed me for the grad school program.

All week I have just been feeling "not enough"

not skinny enough.
not smart enough.
not fast enough.
not a good enough cook.
not a good enough wife.
not a good enough Christian.


and ya know what?

driving home last night in the dark, those song lyrics came on again; telling me it is all part of the master plan. which is true and a good reminder.

but ya know what?
they aren't exactly so reassuring and easy to believe.

i think that's okay. i think He understands that sometimes it takes more than just telling yourself it will all be okay.  right when my car was heading to DQ to get a blizzard (because clearly THAT would make me feel better), this song came on:

when i lose my way

and i forget my name

remind me who i am

in the mirror all i see

is who i don't wanna be

remind me who i am

in the loneliest places

when i can't remember what grace is

tell me, once again

who I am to You, who I am to You

Tell me, lest I forget

Who I am to You, that I belong to You

i mean seriously.

all evening I felt like I was chanting in my head.

I got home, looked at the kitchen sink and started to get that ugh feeling again about how bad of a housewife I am.

"tell me when I forget, who I am to you"

whoops. forgot to dethaw the chicken. plan B for dinner"

"tell me when I forget, who I am to you"


I seriously felt like I had to tell that to every situation that was trying to bombard me with "NOT GOOD ENOUGH LINDSAY!" and boy there are a lot of them. Even sitting down with the Pottery Barn catalog can make you feel like a mega non-crafty loser ;)

just a little something that has helped me this week :)

ohh and these sunrises that I have snapped from the mornings this week. seriously. how can monday tuesday and wednesday all be so different yet so pretty?

well duh. God made them like that. He made us like that too ;)

WW vs WWU

i suppose i always will want to remember this story. 

so I was on the waiting list for the grad school program and should have heard any day the destiny of my future. ha. 

I was at Weight Watcher's last sunday working my meeting when my dad texted me:

dad: "Do you think you could pick me up if I run to Grandma's?"

me: "Yes! I am at WW. Definitely!"

aka I am at Weight Watchers which is right by grandmas, so that works perfectly that I could swing by and get you after the meeting. 

dad: "seriously?"

me: "yep. see you soon!"

finish weight watchers and go visit grammy and gramps and pick up my dad. 

we are sitting there chatting and my dad goes, "so have you decided that you are definietely not going to Western? I think it's interesting you don't want to talk about it."

me: "Ummm. why would I talk about it? I haven't gotten in..."

His face is so confused. 

finally we figure it out. He misread my text, at WW. to be WWU. He called my mom and told her, she told my other grandparents and my aunts and cousins (whom she was with) and blah blah. My mom and dad had an in-depth conversation about how they think it's odd I didn't tell anyone I had gotten in. my poor grammy was so confused when I had to explain to her that my dad was a little confused. 

 and then yesterday I finally got the confirmation.

nope. no WWU grad program for me. :(

you are exactly who & what & where 

you are supposed to be 

and you are lovely.

blushing bride

wanna feel old? attend your BABY sister's bridal shower. :)

katy and jess did such a great job and it was just perfect for the bride to be. 

<3

brunch and the bride

this week

on sunday night I took my normal bedtime pill like i always do but im pretttttty sure it got stuck in my throat? it is a pretty big pill (capsule kind)? has this ever happened to you?

i woke up and seriously felt like the pill was sitting RIGHT at the bottom of my throat. it hurt to breath and i think the shell of the pill was starting to melt off and giving me heart burn? i walked around and jumped up and down a few times to try and get it to go down. brilliant, huh? then i googled it and saw that eating a piece of bread helps get the pill down. so i ripped apart a piece of bread and stuffed it down my throat. I don't think it helped. instead i shook drew and told him we needed to go the hospital because now i had a pill AND a wad of soggy bread stuck in my throat.oh well. the pill is gone now. ha. 

this was my nightstand in the morning. i have never liked bread crust and apparently I don't like it at 3am either. 

it was just kind of a blah week. all the Boston news and the fertilizer plant explosion and the rain came back. that just added up to Thursday night dinner of mac and cheese and bacon. yep. we did that. definition of comfort food? ;)

it was also my papa's birthday. i just miss him so much. he was so wise. :/

all the stuff that is happening across the world is just plain awful. no way around it. it seems like the horrible shootings and bombings and mass killings are getting closer and closer together. Used to be one incident every few years, now it seems they are once a month.

i try to get my mind around it, why would they do this? why would God let someone do this? i think we are all just getting kind of beaten down.

ya know what?

i think the only thing we can get from this is that our time here is so temporary. If someone can't be safe during a 26.2 mile RUN or doing their job at the place they have reported to for 30 years, than I don't know.

i think the only thing we CAN know is that we need to love each other because God is showing us that these things can happen ANYWHERE. to ANYONE at any time. Not that we should live in constant fear, but we are seeing example after example after example of how we need to live each day like its our last.

i think we are having a hard time getting that message. I still fret about calories and let it ruin a fun dinner out with friends. I spend too much time on the Internet getting jealous. parents spend way to much time at the office and not enough time with their kids in the backyard. I think God has taken to these extreme measures because we are all having a hard time getting the message.

we are not promised tomorrow. so love, love, love, love like it's your last.

mini break down

i called my sister after work today and asked what she was up to.

she begrudgedly told me she was driving to bellevue to met her fiance and they were going to the Mariner's game with another couple. ummmm CAN YOU SAY FUN?!

then she asked what I was doing that evening. 

cooking a ham and edging the lawn where I am going to plant my sweet peas. 

why does cooking a ham make so many people laugh? leftovers for days ya'all ;)

really. those were my evening plans, and I had kind of been excited for them until I realized what the rest of the normal world does on a Tuesday evening. :)

ohhhh to be young again :) 

good read

i am guilty. i watch the news and get so depressed that I can't my eyes away from the horrible things that are happening all over the world.

i know i should stop watching it, but i don't want to become ignorant and not know what is going on in the world. 

my dear friend alissa posted a link to this article this on her facebook page and I just love it. I feel like it was written for me :)

he talks about how instead of turning on the news one night after an especially busy day, he flipped open the good ole bible to Ecclesiastes.

the rest is straight from the article:

"behold, what I have seen to be good and fitting is to eat and drink and find enjoyment in the toil which one toils under the sun the few days of his life that God has given him, for this is his lot. Everyone also to whom God has given wealth and possessions and power to enjoy them, and to accept his lot and rejoice in his toil-this is the gift of God." Ecc. 5:18-19

I would summarize this guy's advice this way:

live a healthy joy filled life, because the best thing you can offer this broken, beautiful weary world, isn't a life of fervency that borders on burnout, or a life of ambitious efforts to save the world, where your zeal leads only to the despair of 'more to do.' The first and best thing you can offer this world is a life well lived. Start there."

That's why I have basically (thought not absolutely literally) stopped watching the TV news. Don't worry, I'll still read about the news. I'll still hear about Syria, gun control and the new pope. All the TV news does is tell me that I can't do anything about any of what I'm watching. 

What can I do at the end of a full day?

I can converse with my wife, cook healthy life giving food, eat it with gratitude, write, go for a walk, invite my son over for dinner, call my daughter, write an encouraging word for someone, pray etc.

All these things are life giving. The message of Ecclesiastes, in part at least, is that whether I watch the news or not Syria's still going to happen. The world is thus, and the more time and energy I spend worrying about things I can't control, the less energy I actually have to life as a blessing, right here, right now, in the midst of all that is my actual life.

It's the preachers belief that this mindset and perspective, far from leading to disengagement, so fills us with life that we find ourselves overflowing with the capacity to bless others. That's why Ecclesiastes also says:

"cast your bread upon the waters, for you will find it after many days. GIve a portion to 7 or even to 8 , for you know not what disaster may happen on earth. "

I interpret this as:

" live generously. you're blessed? Actively bless others...maybe even 7 or 8. "

This of course, is going on all the time. This very day, there are people volunteering their time in scouts, AA, ski clubs, support groups, community meals, homeless shelters. There are people gathering to eat good food and tell stories, laugh and cry together. There are people making music and making movies and teaching children. 

My suspicion, though I'll never know this for fact, is that most of the people doing creative, awesome, life-imparting stuff aren't also sitting on their buts watching TV news at the end of the day, getting depressed about drone strikes and national debt. Instead, they are casting their strenghts and life giving resources (their bread) on the waters of their real world, just because its better to give than hide your stuff under your pollow in a news-induced paralyzing fear. 

I like that kind of joyful generosity and creativity. I've known that before, and its awaking in me again. It all started when I turned off the news and read Ecclesiastes. "

oh my goodness. perhaps a little extreme at times, but man what a beautiful writer Richard Dahlstrom.

and what a good thing to examine. what activities could I be adding to my day to day life that are a little more "life giving?"

i am in love...

we met about a week ago.

well actually we have known each other for years, but it wasn't until last week I realized he was on the market.

the real estate market that is... :)

i really love to daydream and i know it isn't always the best thing for us to do, but it is fun. :)

this house needs some TLC. There is blue carpet and wallpaper in a couple rooms still.

but you guys. it is light and airy. and TONS of windows and a yard and a HUGE deck and oh might I add some lakefront and a dock ;)

i have noticed I have been going on a lot more walks/runs around the neighborhood lately because I like to run by it and make sure the for sale sign is still out front and no one is moving into MY house :) I also envision where I would set up the bbq on the deck and where I would plant flowers :)

do you all ever get like that? where you envision your life in a certain house, or in a certain job or with a certain person and before you know it you have already planned what type of wedding cake you will have and you haven't even spoke to the person? i know i walk a fine line between healthy dreaming and pinning after something i don't have.

minor problem with this house becoming mine....

the price tag :)

but a girl can dream?

i just always wanted to have a house that needed some major fixer-upping with tons of potential and I think this fits the bill perfectly. :)



so what do you say Drew? the other love of my life ;)

so what wednesday?

 so what if i looked around my desk at work today and realized that I got a little carried away with the washi tape. cheap office supplies, man. :)

so what if i take pictures of the guest room to try and entice people to come visit?

so what if I really, honestly gave cats a try and i just don't like them :(. I tried to pet the neighbor cat and it just hissed at me. and that this quote makes me laugh so hard i can't stop.

so what if my friends have started calling me out for always taking pictures of them while they are eating. I promise I don't mean to. hehe ;)

what do you say "so what" to this week? 

weekend

 momma came and helped with some spring cleaning. 

the easter bunny knew i needed some bright colors around the house

i got a migraine saturday night and i have an irrational fear of throwing up by myself. weird i know. so my dad came and got me in the middle of the night. 

this was one of the tips i found the next day for making migraine symptoms better. i think i would rather throw up...

drew came home from his weekend trip to idaho! :) wahooo

have a great week :) 

what are chores?

working so much in the last few months has had it's perks...

drew is turning into quite the cook and cleaner :)

"good"

what a weekend.

i have been happy the last few months.

i think its a combination of settling into married life, liking my job, eating healthy foods and THE SUNSHINE STARTING TO COME.

i also thing it's something else though.

I used to drive myself crazy trying to find the hidden, deep meaning of why God would let something bad happen. Especially to me.

I didn't get that job? 

God says all He does it good, so that must have been for a reason. 

Drew and I got in a huge fight and I couldn't sleep for two nights?

God says all He does is good, so that must have been for a reason. 

I would try and figure out what God was trying to teach me from every single little thing.

Not saying this is bad, I just think I over-analyzed lots of things, which can make a person feel crazzzyyyyy and very anxious. (story of my life ;)

I heard it put a different way recently, that has totally calmed my anxious heart :)

"You make all things work together for my good"

I don't have to freak out about what specific LESSON God had in mind for me when I burnt the pizza that I was making for dinner.

Yep. Not getting into grad school sucks.  I can put all sorts of spin on it and "blah blah, i didn't get in because there is a different program that is a better fit for me?" sure maybe. I didn't get in because God is testing my willingness to listen to Him. Very possible. 

Getting that letter that says I didn't get in sucked. anyway you dice it. but this song verse makes me realize that I don't have to figure out God's reasoning behind it RIGHT now. Or tomorrow, or next month. I don't have to search and search until I come up with what went wrong. 

That bad thing that happened? It can be bad. I don't nessecarily have to consider it good, cuz to be honest? It wasn't really all that good. 

What He does promise?

He will make it work together for my good. Woven with something else, covered in that opportunity and mixed with that opportunity. 

so relieving to me. it doesn't have to be all decoded and figured out now. It will be, in His time ;)

In the END, it will be good. 

things around~

drew and i don't agree on something. well, other than he gets fruit on his menchies where I think that is gross and you have to go with chocolate/sweet things (artifically sweet that is) but something else major. he doesn't see the point in making the bed.

i mean logically, i suppose it makes sense.

i feel anxious and a,mndfasndfklasdf if the bed is not made. it kind of goes along with other things. like he thinks its silly that I like cutesy little napkins in the kitchen. or why I organize my magazines in the magazine bin a certain way. These are petty examples, but happy things around me make me feel better.

so sue me.

throw pillows? another great example. every night, 5 pillows get thrown on the floor. and then in the morning get put back. haha. for no other reason except it makes me happy.

i was thinking about this, because i had another lovely encounter with a gentlemen that made me think.

it was after valentine's day, and I was doing the obligatory "did you have a good valentine's day?" (PS. that could be an awkward question I realized ;)

he said, "i suppose blah blah blah" and then asked how mine was. I was probably a little too peppy and said "oh it was great! it was my first one since getting married!"

this man started huffing and scruffing about how easy it is to have a happy valentine's day when you still like your spouse. when you enjoy their company, when you WANT to go to dinner with them...

yikes.

he keep going. "try having a happy valentine's day when you have lived with the same person for 49 years and they STILL badmouth the way you make their poached eggs in the morning. come back to me in 30 years and tell me if you STILL are having a happy valentine's day."

i was speechless. but he had a point. when things are happy, its easier to be happy.

this old gentlemen was taking it a liiiitle too far, but he got me thinking.

if it helps to have happy things around, (be it throw pillows or a pretty boquet of flowers) so be it.

THEN, my homegirl Beth Moore took it a step further for me.

"Let's be nice to people today.

it's shocking sometimes how little it takes in this stone-cold world for people to catch a glimpse of Jesus."

it's so true. be nice. your smile or simple "good morning" can be as influential on people as a freshly made bed with arranged throw-pillows can make me feel (and it's much cheaper.) ;)

monday monday

i had to snap this picture of my desk on Saturday. caffeine anyone? :)