I can safely say that we have all been hurt. Sometime or another in our lives, someone very close to us has hurt us. Our brothers, our husbands, our girlfriends, our bosses, our best friends, our moms... All across the board.
I cannot IMAGINE how women who have been cheated on by their husbands fee. Bosses whose trusted employee has been secretly embezzling thousands of dollars out of the company account or even just someone who has done something really terrible to get ahead.
No, I can't imagine how the pregnant Huma feels towards her weirdo tweeting "weiner" husband. (who by the way, one of his tweeter friends goes to college in my town? my claim to fame?)
I can't imagine losing all of my hard earned money to some selfish idiot. I cannot even fathom how those people feel towards Bernie Madoff.
Heck, I am sure that some Cleveland Cavalier fans are still LIVID at Lebron James and probably laughing in his face right now) for ditching their city and leading them all on in his journey to Miami.
But who am I to talk? I am the one who is dating my ex-best friend's ex-boyfriend...
Do you know what word comes up again and again in all of these conversation topics? Forgiveness.
Should Huma forgive her senator husband for his extremmeeelllyyyy inappropriate behavior? Honestly? I don't think so.
But.
"For the Christian, forgiveness is NOT an option. Jesus commanded us to forgive."
Okay. How crazy is that? The first time I read that in my calm My Anxious Heart book, I was mad. Like seriously? Easy for you to say Jesus, you have NO idea what his person did to me. They have ruined my life and they don't deserve a SECOND of my attention or brainpower.
Or maybe we want them to learn what they did was wrong, and how would forgiving them and acting like everything is okay accomplish that? Yeah, it wouldn't. They need to learn the consequences of their actions.
But we are COMMANDED to forgive?
I seriously stopped reading right there and thew the book on the floor and went to sleep. I tossed and turned all night. Feelings of times I had been hurt were coming back. Some slowly creeping back into my memory, and some emotions of hurt flooding my body so hard I literally felt like I could throw up. Promises that boy made that he definitely didn't mean. Times that friend said something so hurtful I made up excused to skip school for two days.
I had always known that we were supposed to forgive, but I thought it was more of a "better yourself" type of thing. Like, yeah, if you want to let that bitterness dwell in your brain, go for it. But holding grudges only hurts yourself.
But after reading this chapter, my heart was RAW to this new concept.
I am still having a very, very hard time grasping this and am still reading the rest of the chapter on exactly how to accomplish this. I'll keep ya posted. But to be honest? I feel like a HUGE weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I don't need to decide if forgiving this person is worth it or if that hurt was caused so long ago there is no longer any point in forgiving.
Jesus says we MUST forgive. It's not up to me. Plain and simple :)
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