Saturday, January 28, 2012

katy perry i know how you felt "last friday night"

I mean, everyone is AGAINST drinking and driving, but I am like REALLY paranoid about it, so I make sure I wait the recommended one hour per shot/beer before I get behind the wheel.

enter Friday night:

My friend was hosting a jewelry party, so a couple of us headed there after work. (still in Mount Vernon mind you, about 45 minutes away from my house.)

I had a budlight lime and a cocktail that had a shot of PINK LEMONADE VODKA with some sparking water. (more on how amazing pink lemonade vodka is later)

Socialized, ate some good food, bought some cute jewelry and I few hours later I was ready to head home. Alcohol was COMPLETELY out of my system.

About halfway home, I think "ah. I should have gone to the bathroom before I left."
About 30 minutes into the drive, I am starting to panic. There are NO reststops, stores, bathrooms or ANYTHING nearby for about twenty minutes.

I try to stop thinking about it, and after a few minutes I notice my stomach is starting to hurt I have to go pee sooooooo bad.

I seriously start to panic. My bladder was going to burst or I was going to have to find a bathroom and I was giving myself about 3 minutes before either of those things happened.

I hit a low point of my life last night. I pulled over it was a totally not busy highway road. trekked back a few steps into the trees and peed. yep. true story. i did. how. trashy. is. that. i really had no other option :)

so I make it home and Drew comes over and my parents have some good family friends over for pizza. I go out into the living room where my dad and his buddy are watching Wipe-Out...

Me: "Dad. I hit a low point of my life today..."
My Dad: slowly turns to me and says, "DID YOU GET A DWI????"
Me: "UMMM NO!" I had a beer and a shot of...
Jerry: "WAIT STOP! LET ME GUESS WHAT KIND OF SHOT YOU HAD THAT WAS A LIFE LOW."
Me: "No, no, that isn't the story."
Jerry: "LET ME GUESS! You had a shot of Yeigermeister, didn't you?"
Me: "NO! THAT IS NOT THE STORY! I had to pee in the woods on my drive home!"
Dad: "That's it? Was your stomach starting to cramp you had to go so bad? That happens to everyone.
Me: "Yeah."
Dad: "That's your whole story?
Me: Yeah."
Dad and Jerry: "Oh" and turn back to watching Wipe-Out.

well then. :)

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Saturday, January 28, 2012

katy perry i know how you felt "last friday night"

I mean, everyone is AGAINST drinking and driving, but I am like REALLY paranoid about it, so I make sure I wait the recommended one hour per shot/beer before I get behind the wheel.

enter Friday night:

My friend was hosting a jewelry party, so a couple of us headed there after work. (still in Mount Vernon mind you, about 45 minutes away from my house.)

I had a budlight lime and a cocktail that had a shot of PINK LEMONADE VODKA with some sparking water. (more on how amazing pink lemonade vodka is later)

Socialized, ate some good food, bought some cute jewelry and I few hours later I was ready to head home. Alcohol was COMPLETELY out of my system.

About halfway home, I think "ah. I should have gone to the bathroom before I left."
About 30 minutes into the drive, I am starting to panic. There are NO reststops, stores, bathrooms or ANYTHING nearby for about twenty minutes.

I try to stop thinking about it, and after a few minutes I notice my stomach is starting to hurt I have to go pee sooooooo bad.

I seriously start to panic. My bladder was going to burst or I was going to have to find a bathroom and I was giving myself about 3 minutes before either of those things happened.

I hit a low point of my life last night. I pulled over it was a totally not busy highway road. trekked back a few steps into the trees and peed. yep. true story. i did. how. trashy. is. that. i really had no other option :)

so I make it home and Drew comes over and my parents have some good family friends over for pizza. I go out into the living room where my dad and his buddy are watching Wipe-Out...

Me: "Dad. I hit a low point of my life today..."
My Dad: slowly turns to me and says, "DID YOU GET A DWI????"
Me: "UMMM NO!" I had a beer and a shot of...
Jerry: "WAIT STOP! LET ME GUESS WHAT KIND OF SHOT YOU HAD THAT WAS A LIFE LOW."
Me: "No, no, that isn't the story."
Jerry: "LET ME GUESS! You had a shot of Yeigermeister, didn't you?"
Me: "NO! THAT IS NOT THE STORY! I had to pee in the woods on my drive home!"
Dad: "That's it? Was your stomach starting to cramp you had to go so bad? That happens to everyone.
Me: "Yeah."
Dad: "That's your whole story?
Me: Yeah."
Dad and Jerry: "Oh" and turn back to watching Wipe-Out.

well then. :)

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