and yep. I actually ran for Senior School President. (ran is the key word. I didn't say, I was ;)
I always pictures the good "leaders" as the ones who LIKED to voice their opinions, who didn't mind standing up in front of groups or being the "loud" one. In fact, I used to kind of think that most "leaders" that I had known were somewhat obnoxious. That loud, boisterous type of personality. Definitely an extrovert.
In our pre-marital class, we have done lots of studying on the "leader of the household." This role should go to the man. I had a minor freakout.
Ummm... Drew is the shy one. Drew sits back in the group and takes it all in. Drew never makes requests of where we all go for dinner. Drew never is particular about what movie we go see.
HOW IN THE WORLD WAS HE GOING TO BE THE LEADER OF OUR MARRIAGE AND EVENTUALLY OF OUR FAMILY? honestly? I thought we were doomed.
Drew possessed barely ANY of the "leadership" traits that I thought leaders needed to have.
Loud? NOPE.
Bossy? Totally not Drew.
Likes hanging out in large groups? Not so much.
Has a calendar pinned on the fridge of the month's activities? Nah.
I learned something that rocked my world. seriously. our relationship has NEVER been better since I grasped this concept.
A leader by NO MEANS is loud. A leader doesn't have to be bossy.
A leader influences the movement from point A to point B. that's it. plain and simple.
The leader does not have to scream at you until you run to point B.
The leader does not have to be strong enough to carry you to point B.
our class teacher actually called Drew's style of leadership "calm and collected. Like a silent assassin..." hahahaha.
ya know what? He also informed me that Drew's style of leadership was pretty darn effective and efficient, while I was just trying to change him into typical "leader" personality-types.
I totally thought that there was one way to be a leader. The "head" of our marriage had to be older than me and more "spiritually" mature and consistently pointing out our relationship deficiencies.
Nope. I was wrong. Being the "leader" doesn't mean Drew gets to be bossy and make all the decisions. Leader? Difference between that rowdy politician and "servant leaders". Drew doesn't get to govern what is in the fridge or decide every Saturday which restaurant we are going to for date night.
and the best part? Drew doesn't even WANT to make those decisions. my man is SUCH a great leader and I am so excited and confident in the direction we are heading and will head after August 18th... and he doesn't even have to be bossy. ;) i just had to realize leadership can take many different forms.
calm and collected? that can help just as much if not even MORE than frantic, go-go encouragers.
Sensible and realistic? Sometimes that can be what we need at the time, as opposed to big time dreamers and big goal-setters.
I was AMAZED at how once I realized the ways in which Drew was a great leader, what a better direction we were headed. :) and we are having a WAY more fun time heading there :)
"a role of leadership means you are responsible for cultivating love."
such a great reminder for all the places in our lives we are "leaders." not bossy, not rude, not mean, not loud, not needy for attention.
too bad I wouldn't have learned this when I was like 8 years old. :) I thought my leadership role as a big sister was to be bossy ;) sorry mandy :)
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