D+

If this last week (5 days really) could have gotten a grade, I definitely would have failed.

Didn't work out since tuesday.
Didn't eat a single vegetable. Well. Does lettuce on a cheeseburger count?

oh wait. that cheeseburger isn't even mine. the clucks and fries? that was mine.

Didn't check anything off the wedding to-do list.

Didn't check anything off the lake house to-do list

But it's not even like I didn't make progress and just stayed in one place, I would have to say I LOST progress in a lot of areas.

More pounds to lose, more room to clean and things to organize BEFoRE I can move them to the lake house.

I WAS THREE POUNDS AWAY FROM WEDDING GOAL WEIGHT PEOPLE. THREE POUNDS. 

THIS MORNING AT WEIGH IN, I COULD HAVE HIT WEDDING GOAL!

ehh... let's have gelato instead. 

instead.. well. it's that lovely time of the month + stress + sodium overload + no working out + eating LOTS of food at grad parties and birthday dinners and fathers' day celebrations. (not excuses I know!)

=

like a ten pound weight gain. oh my gosh. sick. 

remember though just a feel weeks ago I gained 8 pounds and then lost it the next week just with working out for like 5 days in a row? my body is weird. :) 

In two months from TODAY I marry the man of my dreams.

and i need to get over myself, and realize that no, if i want to look like how i want to look in my wedding dress, i cannot eat out every meal.

Two months? That is crunch time people!

I think some people deal with stress by working harder and faster. Those people in college who used to procrastinate until the night before a big test to study? They claimed they worked better under pressure.

Pssshhhh.

Not this girl.

When I get stressed and anxious I just decide to shut down. And eat. And sleep. And watch TV. And those things don't even make me feel better! Vicious cycle. It's like I wanted to just give myself an MSG overload so I wouldn't have to work on my to-do list.

So I think we have officially lost it. There is a piece of driftwood drying in the dryer (don't ask!), I am working on wedding crafts with a steak knife and and my dad is depressed the US open is over.

but. i have learned something. its not gonna work to deprive myself of food except for spinach for the next two months.

it's also not going to work to loath in self-pity and continue this downward cycle.

back on track, one day at a time.

15 pounds to go in two months? who thinks i can do it? :)