how am i feeling?

i think that sometimes the right thing doesn't don't always feel good. 

i was talking to this young girl who had just broken up with her boyfriend. she was telling me stories and stories about how he treated her SO badly and she knew he wasn't right for her.

she broke up with them, but was crying and telling me about how she knows it was the right thing to do, but she doesn't feel that wave of  "relief" deep inside that everyone told her she would feel when she finally ended it with him.

i keep telling her that i think it's TOTALLY okay to have done the right thing or made the right decision, but not feel instantly happy or carefree.

i think it's okay to make the right decision and still feel awful. it's okay to be sad, it's okay to be mad, it's okay to feel like it's not fair. 

just because you feel that way, doesn't mean you made the wrong decision.

lately i feel like my menopausal mother (sorry mom :) with the range of emotions i feel throughout the week (and throughout the day for that matter :)

lots of things are a-changin' and change is hard for this bride-to-be :)


i feel: annoyed

 that target won't return a bridesmaid dress that i had ordered online for a larger since because they claim it is past their "90 day" return period.
 
i think i have a valid excuse for needing to exchange it for a bigger size...

E IS PREGNANT! :)

i feel: blessed to be an "auntie" again and to see e's beautiful little family grow :) 


i feel: a liiittttle overwhelmed

 the lawn at the lake house is now our responsibility (orrrr my responsibility i suppose until drew moves in? :). the lawn is BIG. moving a lawn is harder than it looks? and weeding? umm... i need a lesson? and compost and planting grass seed and keeping my grandpa's special tree alive? and then "edging"? ahh....

i feel: proud of my manly man for mowing the front lawn for the first time on sunday :)

i feel: soooo giggly and red-faced

the loot from my lingerie-themed bridal shower this last weekend is beyond amazing. :)

i feel: so excited! ;)

and like i need to re-vamp the ab routine the next few months ;) 

i feel: a little tipsy and crazy and like i am in college again

friday night before my bridal shower some of my friends came up from seattle and we got cupcake wine and cupcakes and ate them sitting on the counter in the lakehouse kitchen with our hands since we didn't have forks. we jumped on the uni-bed we made in the living room and then eventually crashed after talking forever. :) 

i feel: like my load is lighter after good old-fashioned girl talk

i feel: scared to death to be the "center of attention" 

my new polka-dot dress that i wore to my bridal shower. gold accessories. as in big hoops and strappy sandals :)

i feel: like everything is gonna be okay when my friend's mom yells "ROCK IT GIRL" with a big smile on her face at the shower :) 

i think it's okay to feel it all, cuz ya know what?

i'm pretty sure i'm exactly where i should be :) 

my new dress that I wore