Conflicted

What Osama bin Laden did was absolutely horrible.

I cannot even FATHOM or begin to imagine how awful the families of those killed in the 9-11 attacks feel, or the families of the soldiers missing their loved ones.

Is it just me though, or does it feel just plain weird celebrating with jubilation the death of a human being?

I am someone who reads the newspaper everyday, watches the news and is rather up-to-date if I do say so myself on current worldly events and news.

That being said, I also like to have my opinions formed on world events and know where I stand. :)

In this situation, I am torn.

I go back and forth.

"I mourn the loss of thousands of precious lives, but I will not rejoice in the death of one, not even an enemy." Martin Luther King Jr.

I read things like this, and start to feel a weird uneasiness take over my heart.

But then I watch the footage of a mom with her son whom her husband never got to meet, dropping flowers off at Ground Zero. I cannot even imagine her pain. I get goosebumps of pride for our country when I hear chants of "USA, USA" from the baseball stadium in Philadelphia when Americans started to receive the news. Or how about those courageous soldiers who have been fighting for almost a DECADE to bring justice?

I try to decide my stance on the subject.

I don't mean go out and get violent; but at the same time you should never be nonviolent unless you run into some nonviolence.

I'm nonviolent with those who are nonviolent with me.

But when you drop that violence on me, then you've made me go insane, and I'm not responsible for what I do." Malcolm X

We are overwhelmed with media images, speeches, celebrity opinions, tweets and political party agendas allll day.

I still am unsure. I go back and forth. My heart is just breaking all around, because I know for everyone involved, there lives will never be the same. But do you what I have realized through all of this? It's okay to be torn. I don't have to have an opinion 100% decided. That isn't for me to do. I am a lucky one, actually. My job isn't to judge the cheers and beer chugging down in the bars to celebrate the death of a human, or to feel guilty about my emotions because of the horrific pan the country has been through in the last ten years because of this man.

I just get to pray. :) I think it's okay to not know it all sometimes and leave the hard stuff up to the big guy. It's okay to feel conflicted inside over our emotions and how we wish we could feel. I actually don't think we are supposed to know it all. That is his grave. I still feel confused/a little "icky" about the recent happenings, but you know what?

I think that's okay.